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RE: post on 2 young boys arrested for rape

posted 7/14/2007 8:55:07 AM |
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In regard to the very upsetting blog posted about the two young boys charged with rape, I would like to clear up my “view”.

When I said…. Because let’s face it, normal kids don’t do this kind of stuff... there is SOMETHING wrong in their world, we just have to figure out what….

Didn’t mean to sound like I was passing blame or pointing fingers. The "something' can be anything from something they have witnessed or something they have heard, it can be exposure to drug addiction, either themselves or their family, and yes I have kids at my work that are 11 yrs old that are substance abusers and being treated for STD's. Because sex and drugs is all they see in their normal home environment... And yes... it’s the parents. The parents should be arrested; I agree wholeheartedly the parents need to be held accountable. But there is more to it than just arresting the parents, because isn’t just saying it’s the parents fault and walking away, in essence "pointing fingers"?

Arresting the parents is not going to change the behaviors that have been instilled in these kids for years prior. They have to be rehabilitated or re-taught what is acceptable in society. Then once again, unless we are a nation of very strict ethical guidelines there is always going to be someone pointing a finger and blaming someone else for something.

These children that did this are 9 and 11; they are mere babies themselves, who need help in addition to being held accountable for their actions.

Yes, by all means, hold the parents responsible to the utmost degree, but I still stand on my opinion, let’s find out what is going on with these kids and fix it so that the cycle doesn’t continue and they in turn teach their children by example to be deviates also.

I guess my opinion may be altered a little since this is what I do everyday, try to look past behaviors in children to get to the root issue and deal with that.

Trust me its not easy.... and unfortunately, these situations are NOT cut and dry.

Sorry if I hurt anyones feeling, didnt mean to. Also understand I am talking about CHILDREN who do these things, NOT full grown adults who know better! or even older teens who should know better. This opinion is only based on little children.

I will now be returning to my corner and wait for the hate mails....

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Jul 14 @ 9:01AM  
i couldnt agree with you more. i think your so right on with what you said

Jul 14 @ 9:18AM  
This is really really sick. I know I am 39 but I couldn't even get the feelings involved at the age of 11, let alone 9 to even consider this act.

My grandpa used to work at a "bookstore", so I had read some pretty sick stuff when he wasn't looking to boot.

I have no idea what would trigger this in ANYONE. The cause is most certainly neutrogical with the thrill of the moment or some other factor being the catalyst.

I have no idea what would cure it.

Your blogs on this were excellent and it really exposes some of the frustration and attempts to truly come to grips with this act of aggression.

Jul 14 @ 9:20AM  
how convienent that the article leave out their ages.......fuckin' media

Jul 14 @ 9:37AM  
Well now, being portions of what you had to say...are taken from a few of the things I had to say. I guess I'll comment...first off, no worries JJ. I'm not upset with you, nor did you hurt my feelings, or what have you in what you posted on that, or even in this blog.

I totally agree with what you said on the other blog, as well as what you've said in your blog.

What pisses me off is... it seems every damn time kids do wrong...most parents/people want to blame...TV, music, movies...and so on.

I'm just sick and tired of those people, as well as the parents looking to "point fingers" at TV, music, movies...and so on! Especially the parents! Too many are far too quick in pointing the blame...rather than taking a little responsibility, they automatically look to point the blame elsewhere...instead of taking some of the blame themselves!

I'm also sick of the doctors who automatically pump drugs into children for anything and everything...oh he suffers from this, so let's pump him full of this drug. She suffers from that, so let's pump her full of that drug...

It's shit like that, that really burns my ass...let's point the blame elsehwere...let's blame TV, music, movies...let's pump the kids full of drugs!

That's what I meant in what I posted, as I do agree with you that we need to look a lot deeper...problem is, far too many parents and doctors don't...they just find it easier to point fingers, and pump kids full of one drug or another.

Jul 14 @ 9:38AM  
well also if the government would stay out of it and allow parents to bust their ass (without yelling child abuse) alot of this shit won't be happening

Jul 14 @ 9:45AM  
I agree with you..


Jul 14 @ 10:19AM  
Good point Lisa...damn good point!

Jul 14 @ 10:27AM  
I'm just sick and tired of those people, as well as the parents looking to "point fingers" at TV, music, movies...and so on! Especially the parents! Too many are far too quick in pointing the blame...rather than taking a little responsibility, they automatically look to point the blame elsewhere...instead of taking some of the blame themselves!

I'm on the share the blame side.
1) First, I do blame all the crap out there in media........ TV, video games, music..... the violence & degredation that is continually streamed in front of them would screw up anyone at an impressional age.
2) Blame the parents for not supervising what their young kids are exposed to.

But..... arrest the parents? No, I don't think so. You lock the little bastards up that actually do the crime. Otherwise..... the kids will think...... yeah, it's not our fault... we're just victims. It's OUR PARENTS FAULT. No passing the buck.

Jul 14 @ 10:47AM  
My 2 cents...

The problem is both with parents and society - the question is, where does the problem begin; with parents or society? As a parent of 26+ years, and as a person who was once a child who made mistakes and bad decisions, I can tell you that not all that children do is not the result of parenting - that is to say, good parents can turn out bad kids and bad parents can turn out good kids. Why? Because sooner or later something called "free will" comes into play. When we send our kids out into the world - to school, to the playground, even to church - we are allowing outside influences to have an impact on our kids, and having a brain of their own, they will decide for themselves what they like/dislike, believe/don't believe, do/don't do. We cannot always control what they see or come in contact with, just as we can't control what they say, how they think, or what they want or like. Yes, to a certain age and to an extent, we can, but once a kid hits a certain age or level of maturity (or immaturity, as it may be), all we can do is hope for the best.

Tell me - what does it say when a 7th grade class pictures shows the majority of kids flipping the bird? Does it say "bad parenting"? I don't think so; I know some of the kids in that picture and their parents, and I can say w/o a doubt that the parents would not condone such a thing. I WOULDN'T (and I'm so glad it wasn't my daughter's class - 'cause I'd have broke her damned finger if I caught her doing that - screw child abuse charges...) I do know this - nothing like this would have ever happened in my day (meaning, a picture like that being published in a school yearbook) - and I think a lot of people my age would agree. Somewhere, somehow down the line it not only became okay for kids to do this, but for an adult teacher to take the pic, and for school administrators to approve putting it in the yearbook. How is that the fault of the parents? To me, it's a sign that society as a whole has changed, and NOT for the better - and the impact on kids is so blatantly clear I find it hard to believe people question why kids today are having so many problems. Yes, lots of parents are messed up and setting very bad examples, but society as a whole is doing the very same thing.

Jul 14 @ 11:55AM  
true your right on a 1000 levels. I think people need to hit there kids. I'm sorry but I think about it and I'd have turned out awful if I didn't think my father was lurking around ever corner. Ready to dislocate my arm at first f-up. I see kids now a days arguing and bartering with their kids and f-that I would have been droped. Then again maybe there is no way b/c I'm also a drunk and a smoker X2. but I don't blam dad for that He only did the physical abuse and for a good reason. Now my mother figure on the other hand got into my brain and mental abuse takes alot longer to heal. Well have a nice day thanks for your time
Jared Doll

Jul 14 @ 12:00PM  
My parents never spanked me and I turned out just fine.....

Jul 14 @ 2:19PM  
I was spanked while growing up and I think I turned out just fine. Of course, I also played video games, watched a lot of movies and as much TV as I was allowed. My mom and step-dad did monitor what I watched to some degree, but I'm sure I saw some things on TV, in movies and in video games that weren't exactly for my age. But I managed to not act like kids do today and people blame it all on the things I just mentioned.

I think there's a few factors involved. One, parents don't take responsibility and don't monitor their children like they should these days. Another thing is, whether it's related to the parents not doing their job properly and pawning it all off on others (in a sense), but I think there has to be an underlying issue that needs to be looked at and addressed before the results of whatever issue(s) can be addressed or "fixed".

Of course, that's just my opinion.

Jul 14 @ 9:28PM  
If I might chime in here...

I am an historian by profession. This gives me, I believe, a rather unique insight into the basic reasons why children in today's society behave the way they do. Lack of personal responsibility, lack of accountability, and this sense of "I am the most important person in the world, and I don't care about anyone else but me" that most kids (and a lot of parents!) have is the main reason for it. Is it societal, or parenting? Well, the answer is a little of both.

Look at today's kids. (By kids I mean those 20 and under.) They were reared by parents who were either the first generation born to the counterculture parents of the sixties, or the second generation born to these parents. The whole attitudes of the 1960s and early 1970s resulted in parents at my age, who have less than no clue how to build a home where children feel like they are responsible for their actions. My sister's kids are the worst children I have ever seen. They have no respect for anyone. Why? Because she never made it a point to instruct them in etiquette, social responsibility, and the proper manner of behavior. When I was growing up, if I stepped over the line, I could look forward to dad coming home and wearing my behind out.

There is no fix for this. The only thing we can do is hope that somehow, somewhere, a parenting revolution takes place, and the next crop of kids will learn somehow that their first responsibility is to look out for someone other than themselves.

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RE: post on 2 young boys arrested for rape