Romance is so dead.How ironic is it to be saying that on an adult "dating" website.I mean some have been successful,some haven't and it makes for very cynical blogs like this one here.
Now,this isn't a post railing on how men can be,because most of the men I've encountered and decided to sleep with was of my own volition(okay,maybe some of those asswipes played on my sympathies)and I knew what they were expecting when I agreed to see them and what it was going to be like thus setting up my eventual disappointment and sometimes emotional humiliation.But I always had hope that maybe there would be one sentimental soul that I'd happen to meet.No avail and still isn't.Expectations are spared to spare being let down and now its led me to feel very neglected.
Let's just forget my place and station and life who I'm with,etc for a while and let me have one romantic gesture ...I know men are able to be that way:Ramses the Egyptian pharaoh built monuments to his queen,a war was fought over Helen of Troy,Beethoven wrote a few songs for his love and hell,if we have to be modern about it- John Cusak stood outside his love's window with a fucking boombox playing Peter Gabriel..If driven,a man can be romantic.
Now,I'm not asking you build monuments or extreme stuff like that because thats inconceivable these days.So tell me..even on a place like this,can a guy be openly sweet,chivalrous,passionate and kind to a woman just because?Well,good news!Nothing said that you had to commit to her or start a relationship if you treat her how she should be treated.Some of us say we don't want kindness or refute totally dorky expressions or gestures of mushiness,but we're lying.We eat it up.We're just not sure of your motives if you do and say all those sweet things so thats why we unrelentingly slam your efforts or reject you.Thats how I see it anyway.
*sigh* I just don't know.The sex thing on its own is pretty tired and not too exciting.
Maybe someone will remember what chivalry was like and include me in it.
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31sunshine
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Jul 11 @ 6:40PM
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can a guy be openly sweet,chivalrous,passionate and kind to a woman just because?
Yes they can, but it took me a while to find the one who can! 
Keep your chin up!!
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max49
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Jul 11 @ 7:44PM
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I try to be all of the above.
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casuallylooking
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Jul 11 @ 8:39PM
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even on a place like this,can a guy be openly sweet,chivalrous,passionate and kind to a woman just because?
Oh trust me, yeah they can...... It just takes a while to find the right one.
I found mine, but I believe there are a few others on this site also. Good luck.
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tabuthekat
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Jul 11 @ 9:04PM
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My man is the poster man of romance. He prepares me meals ( a great cook) Candle lit bubble baths, moon light pic nics. Week end trips to Bed And Breakfast. Sends flowers, cards and leaves love notes around, Washes my car, fills the tank and does more cleaning that I do. And we have been together several years....So no romance is not dead, your just dating the wrong men.
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Premeir
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Jul 11 @ 9:38PM
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I must break down and admit....................I am a man of romance... yes, not very common these days. I absolutley enjoy doing those romantic things for a woman. But I will also say that I enjoy the romantic things a woman does in return. I feel it is a two way street, or am I mistaken?
Romance can lead to the most awesome sexual connection, romance does not always mean I love you, marry me type of connection. There is more to it than that. Having said that, yes there are times when it's an outright sexual release for 2 people and at times that is just fine. In more cases than not I feel that when a man and a woman meet there needs to be some form of romance and that comes in many forms. Those forms depends on your imagination and how creative you can be. I am speaking from experience, take it as you will. Believe me or not. It does make a difference in the short and long run. Remember the basic rule KISS....keep it simple stupid, you will be surprised what will make a woman smile and think.
There is my 2 cents worth.
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lunanegra
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Jul 11 @ 10:03PM
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I know some men try and some don't give them credit.To the romantic men,this is for you -   I know that cant possibly express my appreciation to those that still know how to treat a woman but trust me,I wish I could say or do more.
To the women who managed to find a guy like that..erm,do they possibly have a single son or nephew in age range?  
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TattooedRawkStar
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Jul 11 @ 10:08PM
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Men are limited in their responses to such impeti (is that a word?) by their "place and station in life" as much as women are.
I've been a hopeless romantic all my life, and have won the hearts of some wonderful women in some extraordinary ways, but now I find myself not looking for a girlfriend, just wishing to enjoy the naughty or friendly side of such relationships; I have also found a higher percentage of women on this site who feel similar. That's strange; why? We're all human, and things should be equal here to the IRL world outside...so what is so different on the internet?
In a word: frustration.
Have you noticed how often on AMD people use the phrases "tired of the bar scene" or "husband not fulfilling" or "sick of bad dates"? It's because on the internet you can feel out the situation, or get to know somebody before taking the (let's face it; "no going back"-feeling) plunge of face-to-face dates involving being already committed to spending an evening with someone who may or may not be certifiable.
We're all here (or most of us, anyway) because we still wanna have fun, meet people, get laid...whatever, but we're FRUSTRATED with putting in that evening's commitment, only to find we've chosen to spend the evening with a selfish bitch, or an egomaniacal asshole.
Basically, what I'm getting at is that guys don't want to waste effort on romance for the same reason gals don't wanna put up with it: why should I? It never got me success before.
That said, we romantics are still out there; but once we use the internet to meet prospective mates/dates/playthings, we've already had failures that color us with skepticism. I haven't read any lady's profile that specifically states "I love it when guys kiss me in the rain and bring me a rose". I also have not specifically told any lady that scratching my back will get her anything she wants from me.
What does it all mean? You still gotta take the risk to get the rewards.
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lunanegra
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Jul 11 @ 10:19PM
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Well,I'm pretty upfront,or try to be so there are no repeats of previous disasters that they might of had before.And for the men who been through that,they shouldn't ever give up, because women who still appreciate those gestures are out there.
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casuallylooking
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Jul 11 @ 11:58PM
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"I love it when guys kiss me in the rain and bring me a rose
I'm sure a lot of women just forgot to add this line in their profiles. I'm also sure many women love being kissed in the rain and given a single rose...... I'm just sayin.
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lunanegra
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Jul 12 @ 12:43AM
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Nah,forget the rain...in the shower is better.  Dunno where a rose would fit it,but I love roses though.
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TattooedRawkStar
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Jul 12 @ 1:22AM
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Allow me to demonstrate how a romantic man's mind can work, when he wishes it...
Kisses in the shower are nice, yes; but you've already GOT her then. It's so much more invigorating and electrically charged when you are still chasing her. So why the rain?
Because no matter what the weather, no matter what the suit's fabric, no matter where you left your umbrella; it feels like "There's nothing in the world that can stop this kiss."
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scotsavant
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Jul 12 @ 6:34AM
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There are some of us who had a decent upbringing and not only are chivalrous but actually care about how other people see them, treat them, relate with them. Sadly, very sadly, it does seem to be impossible for me to use the word "most" instead of "some."
I live next door to a guy who, deep inside, has all the attributes that could cause others to call him a "nice guy." But somehow one or more of the screws holding the intelligence part of his brain in place seem to be too lose and he behaves like an absolute asshole when women are around, especially to them. For some strange and unexplained reason, he believes this is what they find endearing and appealing...and turn them on.
Of course, this guy is now 39, has never had a serious relationship with a decent woman that has lasted more than two weeks, and can't understand why the only women he attracts have the same low opion of themselves as he does.
In short, assholes have their function in life, but what comes out of them has little appeal for others than flies and roaches - it looks bad, smells worse, and I, for one, can't wait to flush it away.
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lunanegra
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Jul 12 @ 3:12PM
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he behaves like an absolute asshole when women are around, especially to them. For some strange and unexplained reason, he believes this is what they find endearing and appealing...and turn them on. I dont think women value themselves if they think that is appealing.But some men are only like that because they truly think it attracts women and that the media portrays jerks actually getting the girl which is very misconstrued.
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arussnfl
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Jul 13 @ 11:52PM
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How about a guy that opens doors for you, buys you dinner when he can afford and we cant makes you a candle lit one at his place. He may even run you a bubble bath and shave your legs for you. He might send you text messages in the middle of the day just to let you know he was thinking of you. of course she should have life outside of his because he wants one also.. No girl "completes me" she just "compliments me" and encourages me to grow. She is not afraid to share her fantasies with him because one she actually has them and two she knows her man is confident with her and who she is with. Or maybe even he sends her flowers for valentines and birthdays and then when she least expects it orders her lunch to be delivered. of course their might some sexy stockings or a thong mixed in because I am MAN! He might even understand what it means to LISTEN.. Maybe he has the type of humor and wit to bring her up on her worst days or maybe he just cant because nothing he can say to her will make it anybetter so he rubs her head and she falls asleep in his lap. But then wakes up in the Keys on a beautiful island to breakfast in bed. May be he is even great in bed, some might even call freaky! but wish they could get some. He might even have a good job, his own paid off car and thoughts of buying a house with the right women. He has healthy not clingy relationship with his mother and girlfriend/wife. Oh yea he does look at other women but never while she around nor comments about them either. Instead he says yea baby leave the heals on and rest them on my shoulders while I tap that!! No those guys dont exist.... Personally I think Chivalry does exist, romance, passion and even love.. But sometimes we are just so closed minded we block the blessings and dont want to read the book only the cover.. Thats just my two cents.. Also I love all of my music and women loud! Today I like to feel the good and the bad! ..
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zipzag
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Jul 17 @ 7:13AM
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For me romance is like air, I need it to breathe and find it essential for a meaningful existence. Without it I suffocate. And intimacy is essential for a relationship; it’s the Ultimate Romance.
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