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The Defective Parrot

posted 7/8/2007 11:09:19 AM |
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  sugarnspice005

This is cute....enjoy.





> **_Defective Parrot_**
>
>
>
> *A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
> sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or
> legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened
> to this parrot?"**
>
> **The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective
> parrot." **
>
> **/"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually
> understood and answered me!" /**
>
> **/"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be
> a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird." /**
>
> **/"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do
> you hang onto your perch without any feet?" /**
>
> **/"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing
> but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden
> bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my
> feathers." /**
>
> **/"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and
> speak English can't you?" /**
>
> **/"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I
> can converse with reasonable competence on almost any
> topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.
> I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to
> buy me. I'd be a great companion." /**
>
> **/The guy looks at the $20000 price tag. "Sorry, but I
> just can't afford that." /**
>
> **/"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the
> truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet.
> You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an
> offer!" /**
>
> **/The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot./**/
> /**
>
> **/Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a
> great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great
> pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's
> insightful. The guy is delighted. /**
>
> **/One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot
> goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one
> wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not,
> but it's about your wife and the postman." /**
>
>
> **/"What are you talking about?" asks the guy. /**
>
>
> **/"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife
> greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie." /**
>
>
> **/"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
> happened?" /**
>
>
> **/"Well, then the postman came into the house and
> lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,"
> reported the parrot. /**
>
>
> **/"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?" /**
>
>
> **/"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! ,
> got down on his knees and began to kiss her all
> over...." /**
>
>
>
> **/Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" /**
>
>
>
> **/"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my
> perch!"/**/ /*
>
> */<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>/**
>
> **/If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a
> really bad day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/*

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Comments:

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NightOfOld

Jul 8 @ 12:07PM  

LouAnnTG

Jul 8 @ 2:23PM  
Dam glad my Parrot has both legs -LMAO-
Only wish he had ANY smarts.
I just found him on my window sill the other morning, I can't find his owner so I guess I have to take care of him. Only things he does well is eat and shit.
darthmaul

Jul 8 @ 5:11PM  
*snork*

LouAnn: what color/size bird did you find? did it come inside voluntarily, or was it too pooped to put up a fight? does it vocalize at all? it may need to get used to you and get comfortable in its surroundings before it'll sing/screech/call. Whistle to it, it will likely learn your call, and whistle it back to you.

But yes, they're little poop machines, no doubt at all...
DeDe54

Jul 8 @ 10:27PM  
roflmaooooooo now that was good gf ................ kudo to you, and ur right, if they dont' find it funny, they are having a bad day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
borachone

Jul 9 @ 8:02PM  

Please don't make fun of me just because I have only one leg in the middle!!

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The Defective Parrot