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How much is too much?

posted 7/7/2007 1:42:25 PM |
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I want to start by saying that I do not mean to hurt anyone's feelings, I am a realistic person and see things for what they are... As we all know I am a "Big Girl", "Healthy" "Fat Chick" "BBW" whatever you want to call it. I have no problem with this... feel free to ask my friends and I am not going to act like I dont "notice" the fact

But, as I get emails and such I look at the profile to see if I match what they are "looking for" MOST of the time they want someone slim/slinder, few extra pounds etc. I feel it is my duty at that point to point out that I am a big woman and that I dont "fit" their criteria. Usually the response is "Size doesnt matter". Well, yeah apparently it does or you wouldnt have made it "criteria".

I know that everyone has a little "buffer" in what they "like" and a lot of people truly look at the person not at the size.

For those of you who do have a "size limit" my question is... How much is too much? Where do you draw the lines that say, he/she is just too big? Is it height weight proportionate? Is it actual weight or is it if they look good in their skin?

I dont know if there are really answers to these questions... just a thought that came racing out of my mind...

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Jul 7 @ 1:50PM  
I dont have a limit ....

Jul 7 @ 1:55PM be honest.....I do want to have the option of the missionary position...

Jul 7 @ 1:57PM  
"Size doesn't matter" up to the point where it causes major health issues with me. I met a guy online last year, I knew he was a big guy, I had seen him on cam many times, but only from the shoulders up... when we met face to face, I was blown away at how large he was. He said he weighed about 350, but there was NO WAY that man was an ounce under 450. Not only did he have tremendous health issues he didn't tell me about before meeting him, but with all the extra weight, he had body odor issues that were revolting to say the least, and on top of that, the man was truly... TOO FAT TO FUCK. He had an average sized dick.. but there was no way to get to it under all the rolls... he would have needed 18" to be able to get there. *shudders at memories*

Jul 7 @ 2:01PM  
I agree with you , but there are alot of hypocrites here as well ( my opinion ) There are alot of women that are BBW but wouldnt give a bigger guy the time of day. I personally dont have a size issue with anyone as i feel that is not the sexiest part of a woman , her brain and personality is. There are alot of people that are missing out by prejudging someone by merely their size. Yes i understand physical attraction but guess what. sooner or later you have to get out of bed and talk to the person.

Jul 7 @ 2:11PM  
The ones that just kill me are those that have listed "few extra pounds" male or female, when their weight/height ratio is so far out of bounds there is absolutely no way to say it other than FAT!! Hell I'll admit I'm a fat girl, I mean it's not something I can hide! But I know what you mean about the messages or multiple views from guys that have listed or even stated in the blogs/forums that they only want a slender or athletic woman! Two of which I have had "words" with in the forums because they had such nasty comments to make about BBW's. Everyone is entitled to their preference but you don't have to be nasty about something because it's not your preference! Well when I suddenly get flirty messages from either of these two guys it's "you're writing me why? you've made your preferences well known, now have a nice day somewhere else!"

Jul 7 @ 2:14PM  
well now I said that earlier, but .......... well hell yall all made me think now .....

Jul 7 @ 2:17PM  
ok ok I have the right answer now...... usually when someone is so large they cannott do the "normal" functions, they are not mobile enough to get out and persue a date. So thats where my no limit thing came in , I figured if they function normally enough to persue someone it would be alright.

Jul 7 @ 2:22PM  
I would say everyone has their own limits that only they can set. No generalization here.

Jul 7 @ 2:36PM  
Ok I just realized I didn't say when I feel it's too much! Like PK, I too dated a guy a few times, only this one was super sweet, had no body odor issues at all, but he was a very, very large guy with a unit on the smaller side of average! While I am a big girl, I'm still limber enough that we managed to make it work but it was just not worth the effort that had to go into it! I've been with larger men and skinny men, so I don't really have a preference on that aspect but, I guess I too would have limits, like Mags said, when they are so large that it causes physical difficulties in persuing dates, then it's probably not gonna work out!

Jul 7 @ 2:37PM  
Personally, I wouldn't consider you to be a "BBW" according to your pics, just normal. I look more to the inside of the person first and their personallity. I have gone out with a few women who weighed more than me and it was no big deal. Besides, it is more to grab on to, know what I mean?

Jul 7 @ 2:38PM  
The limit would have to be functionality! I mean if the person can't wipe their own ass, or have to trust someone when they are told that their own shoes are tied. That's bad. If you can't have sex, by either pentration or to many rolls in the way, that's not functional. When your ass is so big, you can walk down the beach and cover your tracks at the same time. Then thats over the limit! Damn I was on a roll, no pun intended

Jul 7 @ 3:11PM  
I love the ones that post height 3' -5'9" weight 95lbs - 200lbs

Slim/Slinder - Athletic....

ok seriously 5'9 and 200 lbs isnt any of those.

Personally, I wouldn't consider you to be a "BBW" according to your pics, just normal

Well, thanks, apparently I chose the right pics to post But yes without going into details, I am 4'11" and over 100 lbs "overweight"

I think alot of it has to do with perspective, what one person thinks is fat another one doesnt.


Jul 7 @ 3:28PM  
Im gona catch hell from L4fun, but some guys just are turned off by grossly overweignt women, and BBW is an acronym that is sometimes deceptive. Big and Beautiful are sometimes mutually exclusive. So everyone to his own, dont care for too big or too little

Jul 7 @ 4:00PM  
You can ask 15 different people and will get 15 different answers..... so that isn't going to help you much.

IF someone takes the time to write to you, they must have seen something in your profile they liked. Maybe it's something you wrote, maybe you are close, maybe its just the nice tits..... but it's something. So...... if they have stretched the perameters...... why call them on it? If YOU'RE not interested.... well, it can be a convenient excuse..... but if you find them half way interesting yourself, why not give it an email or two instead of going off on them for writing.
Just my opinion.

Jul 7 @ 4:06PM  
why not give it an email or two instead of going off on them for writing.

Please dont get me wrong, I have never "gone off" on anyone, I simply write back and say words to the affect of, you realize I am a big woman and your profile states you are interested in something else...

Hell no, I wouldnt be mean, I need all the fans I can get

Oh, and BTW......... thanks for the tit comment...from all 3 of us

Jul 7 @ 4:17PM  
I think everyone has a limit. Generally speaking 300 lbs would be too much woman for me, She would weigh twice as much as me. Some women look good with extra weight, if they are a stocky broad-shouldered type. Most women I have met have been on the heavy side, I think they don't like slender men.

Jul 7 @ 4:30PM  
Is it actual weight or is it if they look good in their skin?

Definitely looking good. And, that takes into account over all appearance. I've seen some in the all you can eat buffets that are dressed like they cut a hole in a bed sheet.

For a long term relationship, the deciding factor still ends up being personality. Looking at your reply to my earlier post, I'd give you a big plus on the personality side.

Please dont get me wrong, I have never "gone off" on anyone.......I wouldnt be mean, I need all the fans I can get

You could very easily have taken offense how I finished up, but you came back with a nice clairification.
Bottom line, it just takes time. Hang in there.


Jul 7 @ 5:01PM  
I once was with a man who was about 350, and I thought he was going to die of a heart attack he was breathing so hard, and there were a limit to the positions we could do because his stomache was in the I have to agree with all that when the weight effects what you can and can't do, then it's a bit much.

I normally go for men who are bigger than me, I just like that best for some reason, but my guy he's way skinny but it's way cool because I can wrap my legs around him...

So I guess I have a too skinny and a too large, but mostly I look at the personality fit to decide to because there's nothing better than a man who fits you in and out of the bedroom.

Great question!!

Jul 7 @ 6:33PM  
I have never "gone off" on anyone
That's a shame. I thinks it's quite a trun on. Oops, you gone off, not getting off

Jul 7 @ 7:41PM  
I'm a BIG Girl myself, not always this size and but never TINY! I have only been with 1 Big Man he was 6'4" and 250, very clean and able, we never had any problems. But I usually prefer a Tall Man w/Long Legs and Lean Hips, why?? Because he fits between my thighs and I can straddle him easier with my short legs. I also hate seeing the profiles of Men who say "5'8", 260 lbs and then state a few extra pounds!!!!! Buddy that is not a FEW! But then what choices do Men really have, they don't want to select Big and Beautiful!!

Jul 16 @ 3:57PM  
Granted, this blog was posted two years ago, but this is the first time I've seen it and therefore the first time I've had opportunity to respond.

In the end, weight is just a number. At 5 feet 10.5 or 11 inches, depending on who is doing the measuring, I'm under that magical "6 feet" that women all seem to be looking for. For every woman out there who laments guys who want skinny Minnies, I could respond "Why does every woman under 5'5" seem positive she needs a man over 6'2"...?"

Part of it, as always, boils down to simple preference.

But beyond that...

There have been times in my life when I've been very active physically. I tend to carry a high proportion of muscle so that I weigh heavily. At 5'11", a weight of 250 pounds might seem FAT, or at least pretty heavy.

At one point my weight of 250 was pretty darned lean, very muscular. At another period altogether, sedentary because of a desk job, stressing and NOT working out at all, 250 was plainly fat. In both cases, 250; both cases radically different.

In the end the bottom line is that what I call pleasing on a woman, other guys will call downright fat. For some, slim-n-trim is all that matters, 5-foot-3 with 36DD's. For me, it's whether you have a pleasant appearance both for me and for you, and whether your weight or shape hinders activities, normal activities.

And as Mr. Gump said, that's all I have to say about that.

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How much is too much?