Before this blog goes anywhere, I need to say this:
If anyone thinks that I am talking about them specifically, in any part of this blog, do not say so. You would be mistaken. I'm not doing this to call anyone out, I will not use names, nor will I implicate anyone specifically. This is a "generally speaking" type of blog. And, now that the disclaimer is done, let's get on with the show.
Is there something wrong with me? I sit here, talking to various people (not just women, but male friends as well) and I wonder if maybe I have a circuit that's broken somewhere or a connection that's just not being made in my brain...I mean, really...what is wrong with me?
I've had talks about S&M, master and slave relationships, the swinger lifestyle, dom and sub relationships and any number of other activities. I've heard about all kinds of things that I either had never heard about before or had gotten some erroneous information on. It doesn't seem to matter, though. I just can't seem to wrap my brain around some subjects or ideas.
I am seriously sitting here and wondering if, after talking to many different women, about what they like and don't like, about how far is too far and coming at these subjects from any number of different directions, there might be something wrong with me inside. That there could be some tiny crucial something in my make up that won't allow me to deal with these things.
Why can't I find someone who wants to share everything, someone with whom I can just be with, love each other in any way we feel comfortable with, just enjoy ourselves as much as we possibly can and do it without whips, chains, patent leather, offensive names and such and without wanting another couple present to share the experience with, to share our partners with...why can I not find this?
Am I going about everything the wrong way? Do I come across as someone who wants these things and just doesn't realize it? How can I justify these things to myself when I know, deep down inside, that I just can't be the one?
Could someone please point me in the right direction?
This is, what I feel, way deep down where nobody but one person in my life has gotten to, what I want from a relationship: love, caring, understanding, a healthy sex life, wonderful conversations, waking up every day thankful that she's in my life, going to bed every night thankful that she's in my life and knowing that I, among all the men in the world, am the one who is by her side, who is her love and her lover and there could be no other. I want to show the woman I'm with that she is it, there is no other and could never be any other, and hope for the same in return.
Is that too much to ask in these modern times? Am I just too stuck in the past, in what I think is right and wrong, for myself anyway, to be able to form a relationship and include these things I seem to be so afraid of?
Generally, I don't think I'm asking for all that much. However, as time goes by, I start to get the feeling that I am asking for too much. I'm starting to think that there is, seriously, some part of me that's incomplete, unfinished or just plain broken.
Can someone please...at least point me in a direction other than where I'm going?
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| Please point me in the right direction... |
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Looking4ever
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Jul 5 @ 6:59PM
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I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with you. If I could point you in the right direction, I'd make a fortune! Sorry.
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ladybootscooter
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Jul 5 @ 7:03PM
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There is nothing wrong with you! If only more men felt like you do *sigh* 
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zena343
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Jul 5 @ 7:04PM
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I think there are more women here that want the same thing then you may think!!
Zena
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casuallylooking
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Jul 5 @ 7:11PM
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I don't know where to point you to, but keep looking. You'll find the woman you are looking for.
I don't see anything wrong with you or want you want in a relationship.
Good luck......
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ValentineGirl214
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Jul 5 @ 7:11PM
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I agree with the women on this one, I think most of us feel and want the same things.....
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WestTexasVixen
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Jul 5 @ 7:21PM
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Speaking for myself, I'm looking for those types of things myself. I don't think it's
at all weird to seek the love of a lifetime.
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Looking4ever
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Jul 5 @ 7:26PM
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Some of the other stuff? I think maybe we all want to find someone that is willing to be somewhat open minded when it comes to sex. I know as I've gotten older, I have been able to get past the good girls don't mindset. Do I feel like I have to have all those other things? No. But, I think, I would like a partner that would be open to exploring some other things so that we both might be able to enjoy ourselves more fully sexually. Some of it might be that people have posted these things because they are curious about them. It's amazing how easy it is to cross one boundary when you finally let yourself cross the first one.
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Lisa46
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Jul 5 @ 8:14PM
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I think you are looking for what every one really wants! the men say they want the "bad" girl but then they don't know what to do with her. The "bad" girl really just wants love and sounds to me just what you are wanting.. but that is just my .02 
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DesertSmile
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Jul 5 @ 8:46PM
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Being from an "older" generation I often look at what people today view as important in their lives and it does differ greatly from my generation where love, companionship, partnership were paramount to a successful marriage.
However on top of all the above there must be a willingness to grow and grow together. This means exploring new possibilities together. It does not mean you have to "wrap your mind" around everything on the sexual frontier, but at least be willing to explore.
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ynot7769
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Jul 5 @ 11:35PM
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Is there something wrong with me? now you KNOW the smartass in me is havin a field day holding back here......but.............NOPE i don't see nuthin wrong with ya........i mean as long as your moms' not still dressin ya funny 
This is, what I feel, way deep down where nobody but one person in my life has gotten to, what I want from a relationship: love, caring, understanding, a healthy sex life, wonderful conversations, waking up every day thankful that she's in my life, going to bed every night thankful that she's in my life and knowing that I, among all the men in the world, am the one who is by her side, who is her love and her lover and there could be no other. I want to show the woman I'm with that she is it, there is no other and could never be any other, and hope for the same in return.
well there's probably fewer n fewer of us men who think this way but your not alone.........still the match up is more a math thing...like flipin a coin but not as simple.....keep rollin the dice ......soooner or later..... 
Can someone please...at least point me in a direction other than where I'm going? now again you know me so if i told you go south  you'd get it..but ..in relaity............you need TWO things...a) you MUSt know your starting point to map anything out........THEN where you want to endup ............MOST don't knwo where they are...........so pose to you ........could you tell me how to get to muncie...........IF you don't know where i am when i call for directions? 
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me248
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Jul 6 @ 2:15AM
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from what I've seen and heard from you.....there is nothing wrong with you....you're the total package!.....but I've barely had the opportunity to speak with you as of yet......(not that I expect to find anything wrong with you in future conversations, (should there be any))......
and as far as if I had to point you in the right direction.....I'd point you straight towards ME....you're one of the good ones babe....so please stop doubting yourself, and thinking you need to change to appease others desires ok.....if you are happy with yourself.....and if, when you look in the mirror, you are proud of the man you see looking back at you.....then that is the most important thing.....and some lucky woman will see that in you too....be the man you want to be, and stay true to yourself.....and you will find the woman that loves you for just that.....I don't know how great your expectations are on others, but you've found love in the past......and I have no doubt that you'll find it again.
I don't believe that anybody else can really point you in a different direction. Only you know where you're coming from...where you want to go....what you're willing to do to get there....I guess that's pretty much what Ynot said when he said:
you need TWO things...a) you MUSt know your starting point to map anything out........THEN where you want to endup ............MOST don't knwo where they are...........so pose to you ........could you tell me how to get to muncie...........IF you don't know where i am when i call for directions?
I also agree with some of the others that have stated that you have to be willing to grow together as a couple and be willing to try new experiences together....but that's not to say that you need to do things that make you feel your not being true to yourself.....do be open to suggestion, but not at the expence of your morals.
I could say sooooo much, but I'll stop here.
hugsME
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jjhxjpb
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Jul 6 @ 8:44AM
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I don’t feel as though these lifestyles are becoming more prominent, I think that in the age of information, we are just exposed to it more.
I had a conversation with my Grandfather some 20 years back shortly after something (which I don’t remember what it was) had happened involving domestic violence. I said to him, I wish we could go back to the old days when this stuff didn’t happen. His answer to me was “Don’t fool yourself Sis, its not that it didn’t happen back then its just that we didn’t talk about it”
As far as if there is anything wrong with you? Well, I am with Y on this one, the smart ass in me is BEGGING to come out. But I will keep my evil twin in tow for now  . In addition, I agree with the fact that you have to figure out where you are before you can know where your going.
I don’t think you are wrong to stand up for what you believe. If you are not comfortable with those things, then DON’T do them, but most importantly don’t second guess yourself, because it isn’t you or your morals that are wrong, its just who you are.
If you decided you wanted to try a Thai food, you wouldn’t go out and replace all the food in your house… you would go and try a dish to see if you like it.
If you are somewhat intrigued with new things, then take baby steps, try something, if you don’t like it don’t do it again.
From this blog I get the impression you are not TOTALLY against trying new things (this sentence you say “some“ subjects or ideas…. ) It doesn't seem to matter, though. I just can't seem to wrap my brain around some subjects or ideas So try some of the things you can get your brain around, but don’t compromise your boundaries… and someday the woman of your dreams will come along… #1 she will respect you for your feelings, #2 she wont ask you to do things that are uncomfortable for you and #3 she will not only let you love her like a princess, she will reciprocate that love and treat you like her prince.
Just the opinion of a Bug
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