Greetings from The Great Beyond posted 7/1/2007 7:44:59 PM | 0 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: whig

DickSlippery

Although severely crippled by his near-fatal bout of pneumonia, DickSlippery still manages 2 summon enough strength 2 jot down a few words 4 his stupid fucking blog, much 2 the chagrin of those who would prefer he just fade N2 online obscurity, like so many far superior writers B4 him…

Yeah…um, sorry I haven’t been around the past week. I wuz kinda busy drowning in my own mucus, but I think I have a handle on the shit now. I gotta tell U this, though. I am more than certain that, although severe, my case of pneumonia wuz not nearly bad enough 2 kill a motherfucker. That means, in order 2 kill Ur ass, the pneumonia would have 2 actually be worse than the shit I just got over. All I am going 2 say about that shit iz that must be one miserable fucking death. The kinda death where the humane thing 2 do iz just shoot the poor bastard at the beginning and be done with it. Pneumonia and fucking sea sickness…the two ought 2 go 2gether, cuz they are borne of the same whore of a mother, let me tell U…

But, truth be told, having some shit like pneumonia duz help a motherfucker put shit in perspective. All this stupid shit, like getting some strange, or who iz gonna win the pennant, or who the next fucking President iz gonna be…all that shit iz…well…stupid. It don’t mean a fucking thing if Ur ass can’t fucking breathe, Yo! Go on and give it a go. U know U want 2. In…out…in….out….nice, huh? Now I want U 2 imagine that somebody has dumped roughly 2000 pounds of scrap iron on2 Ur chest. Beginning 2 get the picture? Now…just 4 shits and giggles…we’re going 2 make U cough every fucking time U exhale. Shake shit up…U know…keep things…lively! Are we having a good time yet, Govnor? I fucking thought so. And perhaps this iz just a case of finding a diamond in a dung heap, but I decided 2 go ahead and quit smoking. I figured ‘what the hell’. I can’t even inhale air right now, so it seemed the perfect time 2 lay off something a bit more caustic. It seemed like I might be saving myself a few steps on this one.

And I don’t know what kind of fucking karma debt I am paying off that causes me 2 get back online and have my hard drive crash almost simultaneously, but I hope that motherfucker iz about paid off! I finally get an Apple cuz these cocksuckers ain’t supposed 2 break, right? And what duz my shit do? It fucking breaks. Not quite out of the box, but pretty goddamned close. WTF??? Iz it me? Do I need 2 feng shui my fucking pockets or something? It’s been three years since I last broke a fucking mirror. Don’t I get time off 4 good behavior? Fucking Christ…

Ok…I’m done whining now. I just thought I’d let U know why I suddenly dropped off of the face of the Earth. But, don’t worry about me 2 much, since throughout it all I’ve been

Keeping U posted

DS

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

Blogs by DickSlippery: RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part One WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part Two WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part One Looking 4 my cheating husband... Not this fucking guy again... Yeah...yeah...yeah...so what? I'm still Putting off the Inevitable... Just Another Lame Attempt at Procratinating the Innevitable... Oh Man...Not This Fucking Guy Again... Where the fuck have U guys been? WHY WE NEED UNIVERSAL HEATH CARE IN AMERICA Whazzup Wit It, WHIGS! Greetings from The Great Beyond Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part Three Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part Two Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part Two Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part One Viva Las Vegas Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XV MWM N2 NSA SEX ASAP Where Duz He Come Up With This Fucking Shit? What's Good 4 the Goose iz Good 4 the Gander... I'm Just a Lineman 4 the County... 4 Those Without a Cock - We Dilute U... If I Waste My Time Writing It, Will U Waste Ur Time Reading It?