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A man's perspective...

posted 7/1/2007 1:29:34 PM |
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tagged: joke
  linpooh

No Sex Tonight

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went into the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all, dear. Let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT?"

I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

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Comments:

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BigFlirt

Jul 1 @ 1:45PM  
That is a funny one...
buatbu

Jul 1 @ 2:55PM  
I guess he's not having sex tonight. Not with a dilocated knee, a broken jaw and three cracked ribs. Some women are just plain mean.
NightOfOld

Jul 1 @ 8:38PM  

Damn: I would have never let you get any sleep
ynot7769

Jul 1 @ 11:08PM  

thought i recognized this.......hm.....no sex tonight? maybe he needs to be a bit more incharge?
sumdaysoon

Jul 2 @ 5:16AM  
that'll teach her..........
40DWM

Jul 2 @ 7:12AM  
Thought this one seemed familiar. An old 'un, but a goodie.

Luckily, the couch can be comfy for a few nights.
RCHoldsU

Jul 2 @ 6:12PM  
This is BEYOND true!!! LOL hilarious! I love this blog...

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A man's perspective...