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Jokes for the women...

posted 6/30/2007 10:01:28 PM |
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tagged: joke
  linpooh

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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his

Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
shouted

to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"**

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"*

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...

-----------------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the

happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped

out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would
think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

----------------------------------------------------

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... You stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th

wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them

and said that because they had been so good that each one of them

could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with

her husband.


Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.


The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!**

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Comments:

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Ashinatrix

Jun 30 @ 10:04PM  
"University of Oklahoma."
HEY!!!!!!!!!
Ashinatrix

Jun 30 @ 10:07PM  
The Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout what?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Arkansas State Lottery?
A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Arkansas?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down?
A: Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new law recently passed in Arkansas:
When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas?
A: I-40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Arkansasians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do a divorce in Arkansas, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Arkansasian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do folks in Arkansas go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do you get when you have 32 Arkansasians in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth.

linpooh

Jun 30 @ 10:15PM  
the punchline was about the man not reading the tag for laundry instructions....not about Oklahoma.
Ashinatrix

Jun 30 @ 10:19PM  
linpooh

Jun 30 @ 10:29PM  


but hey ash?...i like the jokes you posted
sumdaysoon

Jun 30 @ 10:47PM  
where to go first.......arkansas or oklahoma........
Lisa46

Jun 30 @ 10:55PM  
umm i think ash and lin are both blonde???
Ashinatrix

Jun 30 @ 11:02PM  
What's the difference between a blond and an ironing board???


















An ironing board's legs are hard to open............
linpooh

Jun 30 @ 11:15PM  
Why do blondes have to be buried in a triangular coffin?



cause as soon as their head hits the pillow, their legs spread wide!



Ashinatrix

Jun 30 @ 11:37PM  
slohand_47

Jul 1 @ 12:40AM  
You forgot the best one.

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down???
Don't know. It's never happened.

Oh........ and...........

How do we know the tooth brush was invented in Arkansas?
Because anywhere else and it would have been called a teeth brush.
ynot7769

Jul 1 @ 12:57AM  
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped

out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would
think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.


sooo umm...is it my lawn mowing abilities ?? or my money
linpooh

Jul 1 @ 1:07AM  
sooo umm...is it my lawn mowing abilities ?? or my money


um Y?.....you had me at..........wanna fuck?
ynot7769

Jul 1 @ 2:01AM  
um Y?.....you had me at..........wanna fuck?

ummm well i'm glad it worked but ummm your spellings off a bit
Rickydo1

Jul 1 @ 10:39AM  
theres an instruction tag?????
BigFlirt

Jul 1 @ 12:22PM  
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

And i thought the answer was Gay....
linpooh

Jul 1 @ 1:06PM  
And i thought the answer was Gay

no...that would be the answer to "What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man with impeccable taste and style?"
linpooh

Jul 1 @ 1:09PM  
ummm well i'm glad it worked but ummm your spellings off a bit


um Y?....that's just cause you're sooooooooo distracting!
sydneyman

Jul 3 @ 9:42AM  
I might not be the right gender, but i thought the jokes were gold.

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Jokes for the women...