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You Know You're in a Redneck Church....

posted 6/27/2007 11:56:49 PM |
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tagged: joke
  linpooh

1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.. the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.. opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of"

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.. in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8 . You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.. the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the collection plates are hubcaps from a 56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... instead of a bell; you are called to service by a duck call

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.. the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah".

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Comments:

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Ewe_Wish

Jun 28 @ 12:01AM  
OMG To Funny.


NightOfOld

Jun 28 @ 12:02AM  

Very good
Looking4ever

Jun 28 @ 12:03AM  
Freaking hilarious!
sumdaysoon

Jun 28 @ 1:16AM  
free2spoilu

Jun 28 @ 1:53AM  
I knew I had seen collection plates like them before.. I think them at the revival last saterday night was from a Buick.. The blue tick hounds in the choir and the fellers playing amazing grace on little brown jugs & a washboard was an uplifting touch though.

Save yor corn fedrate muny boys. Tha south is a gonna rise again. Yeeee Haaaaw!
BigFlirt

Jun 28 @ 7:53AM  
Hey what? you makin fun of my church????
Nutrisse

Jun 28 @ 11:15AM  
max49

Jun 28 @ 11:30AM  
I just have to clarify a couple of things. First off we don't have but one woman named Bubba and we ins still ain't sure she's a woman and no one is brave enough to check and second our minister and his wife can't afford matching pickup trucks. He had to buy some new mud tires for his truck so they had to sell hers to get em. LMAO... Good one lin.

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You Know You're in a Redneck Church....