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Why DO opposites attract?

posted 6/24/2007 2:17:18 AM |
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  reichbane

Hello again everyone, as might be surmised, I have met someone who I am very fond of, although at this stage nothing is for certain..She is very different than me on many subjects, yet the more time I spend with her, the harder it is for me to get her out of my head. I dont know what 'my type' is, as ive never met her, but for some reason it seems the least likely candidate is the one I go for..anyone have any thoughts or experences in this area?

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DesertSmile

Jun 24 @ 10:08AM  
If you are someone who does not settle for the mundane then opposites will always attract you. When opposites come together they need to mesh. Their traits should compliment, not overpower, those of their partner. His strengths for her gentleness and visa versa.

However the fundamentals and goals of what is important to you should be compatible or before long you will have grown, as is natural, in opposite directions.

It can be incredibly exciting when you meet that person who is so different from you but will that excitement continue or become a burden as you try to keep up with them. Will her chattiness soon drive you to disctraction or will you sit back and say "gawd I just love how outgoing she is"? Will his opinions soon start to drive you beserk or will you have enough of your own to keep the beam balanced?

Yes opposites can be good for a relationship. They can help us so to learn and expand but they can also be more than we can handle. Look to your gut feelings...rarely are they wrong.


wyldsidewoman

Jun 24 @ 12:07PM  
I think it depends a lot on where those differences lie.

You wrote:
She is very different than me on many subjects

What subjects are these? Political? Social?

When it comes down to your core values, are you similar? I find that people who are more intellectual are attracted to others with different views from them because it sparks discussion, and sometimes a bit of a challenge to see if one can bring the other around to their way of thinking. However, it also takes a lot of respect to maintain this long-term. You need to be able to discuss the differences, but there can be a fine line between discussion and argument and you want to be careful not to cross that line.

I guess what I am saying is similar to what DesertSmile has already said, although wording it differently. At any rate, best of luck to you as you explore this new adventure!

blackcherri

Jun 24 @ 12:10PM  
You know, you really hit that nail Bane! I think opposites are supposed to attract. It's that ying yang thing. I see these couple that are so much alike that it's scary and I think: Why would you want someone who is just like you?

How boring is that? I'm always attracted to someone who is my complete opposite--to a point. We reach the same conclusions but for totally different reasons. Therein lies the attraction. He's forever trying to get me to see things his way and I'm trying to get him to my reasoning. We never run out of things to talk about. I guess you could call it the debate element. I love to debate. It's that Market Place of Ideas concept.

I think that adds the spice, you know?

BUT. I think a realationship cannot subsist with just spice. There also has to be some substance there too. Dreams and goals must also mesh so that no matter how two people go about acheiving their goals and dreams, they do eventially get there. Together. And that's the commitment. Dig?
NachoBaby

Jun 24 @ 8:03PM  
Why do opposites attract? Can you imagine spending your life with a carbon copy of yourself? You would hate about each other the things you really don't like about yourself. No thanks.. viva la difference!

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Why DO opposites attract?