I've been searching for the answer to this question for a long time now. Why is it that all the good guys go for the wrong girls? What I mean by that question if you don't already know is that when a guy searches for a girl sure it's sex appeal and personality. Yet when a guy finds a girl he's attracted to and wants something good to come out of it he goes through the measures of trying to show that girl. You have some of the girls who are out for the amount of money a man has and then you have the other girls who just wants a good relationship irregardless of what the man has. I've been searching for well over a 1 1/2 now for a great guy who can treat me the way I feel a girl should be treated. I want someone for him and not what he has. I want to be there for him through good and bad times and have a life together that we can both enjoy. Stop me if you think Im asking for to much. So another question what the hell am I doing wrong that seems to be so right for others? Input and answers would be great right now. So if you might know would you please let me.
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Blogs by luvudown07:
| Good Guys Go For Wrong Girls |
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Argit01
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Jun 23 @ 4:04PM
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OK this may seem conceited but hear me out.
I always treat a woman like a lady and am considerate, generous, affectionate and thoughtful (I have been told this by my female friends). As far as looks go I am, at best, average and so the type of women that look for the qualities that you mention in a man tend to overlook me or become my friend. Since I joined this site I have met a woman who is not only stunning good looking but is intelligent and witty too. She has a heart as big as the world and I love her to bits. I had to go all the way to the US to find her though and I am the luckiest guy on Earth.
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38decentmale38
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Jun 23 @ 4:06PM
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There are so many variables. We live in this throw away society of all realationships for dumb reasons if it is not perfect. If you wish for a relationship to last you stick to it like you wrote here Luvudown. I do not know you to know what you are doing wrong but would say nothing more than likely. Someone has to fit you and you have to fit them. Respect, communucation and work at it. Never be afraid to sweat and that is not just in the sheets. Easy said but we are all searching for a needle in a hay stack I guess. No perfect Mr. or Miss right. It is what you make of the relationship. Forgiveness is very key as well. We are human, we make mistakes and if you love each other, learn to forgive.
Be who you are and keep trying!
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plaidskirtluver
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Jun 23 @ 4:10PM
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you're probably not doing anything wrong. people are all individuals. we all have different tastes and what makes one guy happy will be completely off the mark for another.
i'm sure that the right guy is out there for you....heck probably 50 or 60 of them. keep looking and stick to your guns about what you want to get out this. best of luck.
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regularguy354
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Jun 23 @ 4:12PM
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I often ask myself similar question. What is it about me that doesn't attract the right women? I'm not overly picky, yes I do have my preferences but they're reasonable.
I did have one woman tell me recently that I should have a barbie doll type, and we had not even met. Her comments were based on my profile; photo and essays and nothing more. SHEESH!
You seem like a level headed young woman with a good head on her shoulders, knows what she wants from life and is out to get it without hurting others.
Dang, I wish I was 10 years younger!
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max49
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Jun 23 @ 4:25PM
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I say hang in there sugar and don't settle for anything less than you deserve. I applaude you for wanting a guy for all the right reasons and not for what he can give you as far as money. You are a smart young lady and in time you will find the guy that is right for you. I hope this helped at least a little.  
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OdysseusMI
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Jun 23 @ 4:28PM
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The same question can be asked of why some women go for the guys that behave poorly and seemingly ignore the guys that are good, decent men.
In an attempt to answer your question, some men I think are initially attracted to the physical side of things first, than the inner person. I know that I am, and I know that there must be a lot of other guys too. So we're clear on this, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Physical attraction is important in a relationship. But obviously, so is knowing the other person and liking them for who they are as people.
Having said that, many women that are exceptionally attractive seem to be very picky as to who they will date, etc. I've seen this many times in my life and nothing now seems to have changed from when I first started liking girls at the age of 10 or 11.
For the woman I suppose it's a matter of having their pick of the litter so to say. With that in mind, a man might work very hard to garner her attention. When one invests a lot of time and energy into something it's hard too let it go. It's also very hard to eliminate the competitive nature in men: a man wants to "win", so to say.
Thus the cycle ventures into it's whirlwind of sorts, and sometimes that can spiral downward into some abysmal pit.
Not all men are inclined to permit themselves to be caught in such an abyss. Not all men are going to fall for the wrong women (just as not all women are going to fall for the wrong men.) I think some of what you're concerned about starts to fall by the wayside as we progress through life. (Read: get older and more mature.)
As to what you're doing wrong.... 
Don't get down on yourself. it's not necessarily anything that you might be doing wrong. I would say that if you're discouraged in anyway, then it sometimes can manifest itself in a negative way. Never complain about not meeting someone as it comes across looking bad by the other person. I might also say that you want to beware of generalizing the opposite gender TOO much. Some observations can be made, but keeping an open mind to the unexpected when it comes to meeting someone can be the best thing a person can do.
Oh, and one other thing that you're doing wrong... You live too far away.  
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Dominus
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Jun 23 @ 4:34PM
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Honestly? It could be this attitude that's part of the problem.
First of all, as people, one sex isn't designed to "go for" another, so if anyone relies on the fact that men are just going to be the ones doing all the searching you're doing womankind a disservice.
Secondly, as I've noted before, forced monogamy puts women in competition over the available males. Hence, there are a lot of women that learn from a young age hat they have to use dirty tricks and deception to get a man by hook or by crook. If women started looking at themselves as a social group with power instead of a bunch of princesses vying for the crown then this wouldn't happen.
Finally, men are typically simple creatures. They are perfectly happy (at least in the beginning of a relationship) to be seeing anyone. After all, one is better than none, right? Therefore, it's often that a man winds up duped and used at least once in his quest for a mate. This tends to jade and sour us, and the real problem is that the next one that does get our attention usually turns out to be a woman who's more sly than the last.
So I hate to shovel the blame on women, but you just have to:
1) Be introspective and know what you want.
2) Voice your feelings honestly and frequently.
3) Realize the power you have.
4) Take initiative to make things right instead of expecting someone else to do it for you.
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reichbane
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Jun 23 @ 5:31PM
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In my experience, it always seems to be the reverse. I consider myself a nice guy, I treat a woman like a lady (and expect her to act the part) the way I would want a guy to treat my little sisters. I always hear women talking about wanting a 'nice guy' and then they almost invariably go for a jerk who treats them like crap and THEN they come whining back to the nice guy about how bad the jerk treated them. Sometimes a nice guy is right under your nose, all you have to do is notice him.
You seem very nice, pretty, with yoru act together...dont go chasing guys, some guys are much like a cougar (mountain lion for some of you): The lion has to do the stalking (in a good way) and move in for the kill (so to speak), the best thing to do defend against one (and often the worst for a man) is to stand your ground or come at him, this is confusing in both worlds and leaves the hunter uncertain about his role and yours....dont rush, sometimes being single can be a good thing.
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sandstones
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Jun 23 @ 6:09PM
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Rejected 39 times in my life. 2 Relationships worked out. Go figure
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ladybootscooter
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Jun 23 @ 6:42PM
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Hang in there girl! Guys ask that same question on here all the time too- why do women choose the bad boys over the nice guys! The right one for you is out there just don't settle for someone you can live with, keep looking for the one that you can't live without!
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ynot7769
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Jun 23 @ 8:14PM
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i'd say a combonation of 2 things......one its just the odds of life .....and online? i call it the internet curse.....haven't ya found someone online ya realy dig? ever notice they're almost ALWAYS hundreds of miles away MINIMUM.......some even more .........just my .02.....
keep at it.....just like a broken clock.......even IT is right two times a day........ 
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paladin1aa
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Jun 23 @ 10:35PM
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luvu --
You have your head on straight. Patience. You'll be "found" !!
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CrazyCraveman
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Jun 24 @ 3:08AM
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I'll let you know just as soon as I figure out...
Why women do this as well...
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Thick8forUn04
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Jun 24 @ 1:56PM
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you sound like my kinda woman.i myself dont look for the sex appeal.after being on this earth for 39 years,and learning from past relationships,hell years ago when i was younger,had one long term end because my aunt caught my g/f of almost 2 years stealing money out of my moms purse,so,i have experianced liers,thieves,game players,now i look for someone who can be honest ,i dont care if she doesnt look like a model,or has big boobs,i dont really have a set age range anymore either,i have talked to women 10 years younger then myself that have been mature and i have talked to women 10 older then me that didnt have a clue. so,just hang in there,a good guy will come along for you.goodluck sweetie.
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