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6 reasons not to mess with children...

posted 6/21/2007 9:40:03 PM |
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tagged: joke
  linpooh

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."



A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute.



A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shalt not kill."



The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael; he's a doctor."
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead."


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while! I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

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   read more blogs!

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Early Morning...
Good Morning...
DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!
A man's perspective...
Jokes for the women...
Harold the computer guy
You Know You're in a Redneck Church....
Four Worms and a lesson
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6 reasons not to mess with children...
Tickle Me Elmo
Satisfied Tide Consumer
Women are Evil by nature
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WARNING....Scam!!!
Geography Lesson
Sex with a Cowboy
Involuntary Muscular Contractions
The Hairdryer
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Sex Frog
Comments are welcome......or are they?????


Comments:

post a comment!

ynot7769

Jun 21 @ 9:49PM  
kids rock.........and can out smart lots of adults ..............


hey LP........you wanna make me pull over ok ok i had the urge


ksk72

Jun 21 @ 9:49PM  
Funny and cute
Ewe_Wish

Jun 21 @ 9:51PM  
hey LP........you wanna make me pull over
Sorry LP Ynot got confused he saw the title to your blog and thought you were talking about him.


BTW awesome blog. A kudo for you.
ynot7769

Jun 21 @ 9:59PM  
so ya'll are surprised ??? i am a KID at heart.......and i'm NOT pullin over..but LP.........we could try .......lookin? shhhh i'm wrkin here
linpooh

Jun 21 @ 10:01PM  
@ Looking....too funny!



and y?...we could try...and you'd pull over...jus sayin
Ewe_Wish

Jun 21 @ 10:04PM  
lookin? shhhh i'm wrkin here
Thats okay Ynot trade me in for LP she will make you pull over and ill still win the bet. I trust this bet in LP's capable hands ooops mouth oooppss ok what would be politically correct here.
ynot7769

Jun 21 @ 10:05PM  
and y?...we could try...and you'd pull over...jus sayin


damn why is it i ONLY find ornery womenzzzzz

he he he if i pull over it should be noted it's probably due to females needin a potty break
linpooh

Jun 21 @ 10:10PM  
I trust this bet in LP's capable hands ooops mouth oooppss ok what would be politically correct here
um...that would be both!


he he he if i pull over it should be noted it's probably due to females needin a potty break
hey...whatever ya have to tell yourself to sleep at night baby!
ynot7769

Jun 21 @ 10:16PM  
good one LP.....umm ya got any ceprachole? ya know that stuff to numb your throat kisses baby
linpooh

Jun 21 @ 10:19PM  
numb my throat?.....um, that's your job!!! ....kisses back!
ynot7769

Jun 21 @ 10:23PM  
numb my throat?.....um, that's your job!!! ....kisses back!

*quotes his buddy* ..."well JESUS H. CHRIST IN A SIDECAR!!!"
*mumbles...''gas the car ..wash the windows...put the top down to freak out the truckers ..and NOW i gota by the damn numbing agent............well hell..........'' you just gona have to take it like a trooper linpooh...no numbs stuff for you baby!!"

*sits knowin that lookin girl is watchin n wonderin what to say when i do NOT pull over *
Ewe_Wish

Jun 21 @ 10:27PM  
*sits knowin that lookin girl is watchin n wonderin what to say when i do NOT pull over
Looking isnt wondering anything she knows you will pull over!!!
ynot7769

Jun 21 @ 10:30PM  
wishfull thinkin mama
ShadowsAngel

Jun 21 @ 10:51PM  
C'mere Y... Guaranteed I can make you pull over...

Great blog linnie~!
ynot7769

Jun 22 @ 12:25AM  
C'mere Y... Guaranteed I can make you pull over...


sorry linpooh aint done but when she admits defeat i'll head north
casuallylooking

Jun 22 @ 2:20AM  
damn why is it i ONLY find ornery womenzzzzz

Did you really have to ask that? You're just so damn much fun to be ornery with..
linpooh

Jun 22 @ 7:53PM  
sorry linpooh aint done but when she admits defeat i'll head north

defeat???? defeat on the brakes as you're pullin over is all i'll admit to!

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6 reasons not to mess with children...