To: All Employees
"In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through
our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please
see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get
all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.
Employees who dont take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since our supervisors took
S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they dont have to do S.H.I.T anymore,
and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be
interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC
UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).
For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to a few people who need S.H.I.T in their life,
just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T They have already had
their fill of S.H.I.T Thank you for your time.
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.(The
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