So, when am I going to start getting offers from men in MY AREA????? I have gotten a lot of emails, I don't even know how many, but I trash them all. WHY? They're written from guys in Canada, guys in Texas, guys in California, and I'm here in DC. No guy out there is worth my driving 2,000 miles to see. PLEASE get realistic, your penis is NOT that long nor could it ever be. Now, I say I'm looking for a match from anywhere. That's because I like to cam, and write dirty emails. BUT, I'm not looking for a fuck buddy from "anywhere" ... I want a local man for that. I don't want some guy to drive more than 3 hours to come and meet me. That's just absurd. And I won't drive more than a half hour. I'm still leery of the internet dating scene, and don't want to spend my day driving only to end up in some bum fuck area meeting a guy who looks NOTHING like his picture. I've been fooled before. I know, right? Me?! I have, and I vow never to be fooled again.
So, here's how to get me. Hook, line, and sinker.
HOW TO SCORE: FOR THE GUY I MEET, who I'll hopefully meet.
*Please have a picture.
*Please write more in your profile than just "I have a dick, and I want pussy to fuck"... yadda, yadda.
*Be nice to me when you email me.
*Tell a joke or two.
*Try to be as charming as humanly possible.
*Don't automatically start telling me how big or small your member is.
*Do not assume I'm some whore that will fuck anything.
*Consider your age in comparison to mine.
*Discuss your interests (outside of the bedroom)..
*Tell me what you do for a living and if you love it or hate it.
*Be upfront and tell me if you're married.
*Don't share your political affiliations or your view on hot button issues.
*If you're psychotic or have any neural conditions, please refrain from sending an email at all. That goes for serial killers, rapists, and sadists as well as the regular crazy folk.
*If you have previously committed a crime beyond a misdemeanor, don't even bother.
*Be sexually adventurous and be fully aware that I am.
*Do not email me if English is not your primary language.
*Tell me about your great big adventures to show me what an interesting person you are.
*Please do not be rude.
*Do not racist or bigoted remarks regarding women/men on this site or off of this site.
*If I do not respond to your email right away, please do not send me 50 follow up emails to see why you haven't gotten a reply.
*Please be considerate of my feelings, if I feel we're not a good match be courteous about it and don't cuss me out or email me again harassing me.
I think that's about it. That may be too much to ask for some men, but not for the right man. 
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
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Pudge2you
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Jun 14 @ 11:33AM
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Now I'm having penis placement envy... sheesh!
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DavidL44
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Jun 14 @ 11:41AM
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Good blog girl! Tell em like it is.
If thats not real honesty, then I dont know what is!
Good luck girl! Hope you find that perfect one for you.
You deserve it! A kudo for you for the sincerity.
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Dominus
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Jun 14 @ 11:41AM
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I'm not that far away from you.
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ynot7769
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Jun 14 @ 12:33PM
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now if THAT right guy knows how to read your in luck 
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dumblonde
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Jun 14 @ 2:00PM
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well-said!
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kozmik_wave
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Jun 14 @ 2:09PM
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hmmmm, 2 1/2 hours...28 years younger...perfect!
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Confluxus
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Jun 14 @ 2:33PM
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so basicaly we just chase you... you sit there and just read messages and pick the ones you like??? fuck that i sent you a message might not have been too long but wtf you can read my essays just like i can read yours... i was shooting out a mail in interest and didnt even get a reply... i wasnt an asshole nor was anything mentioned about fucking anything... so im still not sure why you waisted your time posting this....
i understand i might not be close to you but that shouldnt stop 2 people from talking... shit i even talk to a few dudes from here... just not in any perverted ways ... there are normal relaxed and cool people on here... YOU just have to do a little more then check your mail...     
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lintroller
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Jun 14 @ 2:38PM
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so basicaly we just chase you... you sit there and just read messages and pick the ones you like??? It's her prerogative, pal.
i was shooting out a mail in interest and didnt even get a reply... i wasnt an asshole nor was anything mentioned about fucking anything... Do you have any idea how many e-mails are in a typical woman's inbox on here? If she doesn't know you, she really doesn't owe you anything at all--not even a response.
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max49
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Jun 14 @ 3:37PM
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Well hell!!! I guess if I sent you a "wanna fuck" then I'm to far away to? Just kidding sugar but I know age couldn't have anything to do with it right? LOL  
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Looking4ever
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Jun 14 @ 4:45PM
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*If you're psychotic or have any neural conditions, please refrain from sending an email at all. That goes for serial killers, rapists, and sadists as well as the regular crazy folk.
Aw, what do you have against crazy people?  Love that line of your blog the most.
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baldbychoice2kx
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Jun 14 @ 4:58PM
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Well damn it all, and here I thought I was going to find that antique roll-top desk I've always wanted here. 
I know what ya mean, though. 
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wayne2100
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Jun 14 @ 5:26PM
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i guess i'm out of luck, it takes 30 minutes just to get off the beltway for my exit. 
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TomJ4458
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Jun 14 @ 6:05PM
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Good luck! Hell, I know I'm too old for you and too far away. I just thought that you wrote an interesting blog or two and liked yer pic.
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lunanegra
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Jun 14 @ 6:10PM
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*Please be considerate of my feelings, if I feel we're not a good match be courteous about it and don't cuss me out or email me again harassing me.
Been there as well,and I had to "show him how I felt on the matter" if you catch my drift.I dont feel as if I owed him anything to be honest
*Be upfront and tell me if you're married. That one gets under my skin;but as always I'll courteously tell them thats not my bag
*Do not email me if English is not your primary language.
My response:
Anyway,this should be an introductory thing to every woman's profile,unless they happen to like some of those things you mentioned. 
Good blog though 
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kinkysecs
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Jun 14 @ 7:47PM
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Nice Blog, Im still too far away but its nice to know that its a two way street. Consider me in the anywhere catagory if you choose.
Thanks
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regularguy354
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Jun 14 @ 8:26PM
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Here's your problem. You're in D.C. Politicians live there. They don't have time to screw you because they're all too busy screwing us instead. LOL
Good luck and hang in there!
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REAL_UNIQUE
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Jun 14 @ 8:31PM
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Excellent blog! Honestly, I hope you find what you are looking for and Please stay and keep blogging.
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asexpartnerwanted
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Jun 15 @ 6:50AM
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hmmmmmmm wish i lived closer babe 
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Barehugz
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Jun 15 @ 7:01AM
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If I were available ...
and younger ...
I would be nice, V-E-R-Y N-I-C-E 
( and adventurous )
Good Luck!
Hugs
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hung4fun199
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Jun 28 @ 3:55PM
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Hey, I am only 10 miles away. I think I fit most of what you are looking for. I just started on this site and I don't have a picture up. But at least if you don't like the way I look, you only wasted a 15 minute metro ride. I haven't included a joke yet...but I do speak English :-) If you're serious about meeting someone local, let me know :-)
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overeditor
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Jul 2 @ 12:38AM
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Well, the only promising member I've found on AMD so far lives 776 miles away. Funny world it is.
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