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posted 6/14/2007 11:15:26 AM |
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  totallytaboo

So, when am I going to start getting offers from men in MY AREA????? I have gotten a lot of emails, I don't even know how many, but I trash them all. WHY? They're written from guys in Canada, guys in Texas, guys in California, and I'm here in DC. No guy out there is worth my driving 2,000 miles to see. PLEASE get realistic, your penis is NOT that long nor could it ever be. Now, I say I'm looking for a match from anywhere. That's because I like to cam, and write dirty emails. BUT, I'm not looking for a fuck buddy from "anywhere" ... I want a local man for that. I don't want some guy to drive more than 3 hours to come and meet me. That's just absurd. And I won't drive more than a half hour. I'm still leery of the internet dating scene, and don't want to spend my day driving only to end up in some bum fuck area meeting a guy who looks NOTHING like his picture. I've been fooled before. I know, right? Me?! I have, and I vow never to be fooled again.

So, here's how to get me. Hook, line, and sinker.

HOW TO SCORE:
FOR THE GUY I MEET, who I'll hopefully meet.
*Please have a picture.
*Please write more in your profile than just "I have a dick, and I want pussy to fuck"... yadda, yadda.
*Be nice to me when you email me.
*Tell a joke or two.
*Try to be as charming as humanly possible.
*Don't automatically start telling me how big or small your member is.
*Do not assume I'm some whore that will fuck anything.
*Consider your age in comparison to mine.
*Discuss your interests (outside of the bedroom)..
*Tell me what you do for a living and if you love it or hate it.
*Be upfront and tell me if you're married.
*Don't share your political affiliations or your view on hot button issues.
*If you're psychotic or have any neural conditions, please refrain from sending an email at all. That goes for serial killers, rapists, and sadists as well as the regular crazy folk.
*If you have previously committed a crime beyond a misdemeanor, don't even bother.
*Be sexually adventurous and be fully aware that I am.
*Do not email me if English is not your primary language.
*Tell me about your great big adventures to show me what an interesting person you are.
*Please do not be rude.
*Do not racist or bigoted remarks regarding women/men on this site or off of this site.
*If I do not respond to your email right away, please do not send me 50 follow up emails to see why you haven't gotten a reply.
*Please be considerate of my feelings, if I feel we're not a good match be courteous about it and don't cuss me out or email me again harassing me.


I think that's about it. That may be too much to ask for some men, but not for the right man.

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Another beautiful day!


Comments:

post a comment!

Pudge2you

Jun 14 @ 11:33AM  
Now I'm having penis placement envy... sheesh!
DavidL44

Jun 14 @ 11:41AM  
Good blog girl! Tell em like it is.
If thats not real honesty, then I dont know what is!
Good luck girl! Hope you find that perfect one for you.
You deserve it! A kudo for you for the sincerity.
Dominus

Jun 14 @ 11:41AM  
I'm not that far away from you.
ynot7769

Jun 14 @ 12:33PM  
now if THAT right guy knows how to read your in luck
dumblonde

Jun 14 @ 2:00PM  
well-said!
kozmik_wave

Jun 14 @ 2:09PM  
hmmmm, 2 1/2 hours...28 years younger...perfect!
Confluxus

Jun 14 @ 2:33PM  
so basicaly we just chase you... you sit there and just read messages and pick the ones you like??? fuck that i sent you a message might not have been too long but wtf you can read my essays just like i can read yours... i was shooting out a mail in interest and didnt even get a reply... i wasnt an asshole nor was anything mentioned about fucking anything... so im still not sure why you waisted your time posting this....
i understand i might not be close to you but that shouldnt stop 2 people from talking... shit i even talk to a few dudes from here... just not in any perverted ways ... there are normal relaxed and cool people on here... YOU just have to do a little more then check your mail...
lintroller

Jun 14 @ 2:38PM  
so basicaly we just chase you... you sit there and just read messages and pick the ones you like???
It's her prerogative, pal.

i was shooting out a mail in interest and didnt even get a reply... i wasnt an asshole nor was anything mentioned about fucking anything...
Do you have any idea how many e-mails are in a typical woman's inbox on here? If she doesn't know you, she really doesn't owe you anything at all--not even a response.
max49

Jun 14 @ 3:37PM  
Well hell!!! I guess if I sent you a "wanna fuck" then I'm to far away to? Just kidding sugar but I know age couldn't have anything to do with it right? LOL
Looking4ever

Jun 14 @ 4:45PM  
*If you're psychotic or have any neural conditions, please refrain from sending an email at all. That goes for serial killers, rapists, and sadists as well as the regular crazy folk.

Aw, what do you have against crazy people? Love that line of your blog the most.
baldbychoice2kx

Jun 14 @ 4:58PM  
Well damn it all, and here I thought I was going to find that antique roll-top desk I've always wanted here.


I know what ya mean, though.
wayne2100

Jun 14 @ 5:26PM  
i guess i'm out of luck, it takes 30 minutes just to get off the beltway for my exit.
TomJ4458

Jun 14 @ 6:05PM  
Good luck! Hell, I know I'm too old for you and too far away. I just thought that you wrote an interesting blog or two and liked yer pic.
lunanegra

Jun 14 @ 6:10PM  
*Please be considerate of my feelings, if I feel we're not a good match be courteous about it and don't cuss me out or email me again harassing me.

Been there as well,and I had to "show him how I felt on the matter" if you catch my drift.I dont feel as if I owed him anything to be honest

*Be upfront and tell me if you're married.
That one gets under my skin;but as always I'll courteously tell them thats not my bag


*Do not email me if English is not your primary language.

My response:


Anyway,this should be an introductory thing to every woman's profile,unless they happen to like some of those things you mentioned.

Good blog though





kinkysecs

Jun 14 @ 7:47PM  
Nice Blog, Im still too far away but its nice to know that its a two way street. Consider me in the anywhere catagory if you choose.

Thanks
regularguy354

Jun 14 @ 8:26PM  
Here's your problem. You're in D.C. Politicians live there. They don't have time to screw you because they're all too busy screwing us instead. LOL
Good luck and hang in there!
REAL_UNIQUE

Jun 14 @ 8:31PM  
Excellent blog! Honestly, I hope you find what you are looking for and Please stay and keep blogging.
asexpartnerwanted

Jun 15 @ 6:50AM  
hmmmmmmm wish i lived closer babe
Barehugz

Jun 15 @ 7:01AM  
If I were available ...

and younger ...

I would be nice, V-E-R-Y N-I-C-E

( and adventurous )

Good Luck!
Hugs
hung4fun199

Jun 28 @ 3:55PM  
Hey, I am only 10 miles away. I think I fit most of what you are looking for. I just started on this site and I don't have a picture up. But at least if you don't like the way I look, you only wasted a 15 minute metro ride. I haven't included a joke yet...but I do speak English :-) If you're serious about meeting someone local, let me know :-)
overeditor

Jul 2 @ 12:38AM  
Well, the only promising member I've found on AMD so far lives 776 miles away. Funny world it is.

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