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Missing Parts....

posted 6/7/2007 9:56:01 PM |
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tagged: joke

Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on: While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal.

Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? Hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My rear was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. I couldn't believe that my new rear was attached at least three inches lower than my original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.

This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts.

What could they do to me next?

My poor neck suddenly disappeared faster than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again. Was it lifted from you?

I think I finally found my thighs - and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband

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post a comment!


Jun 7 @ 10:00PM  
Those BASTARDS!!!!

Jun 7 @ 10:04PM  
I say we hunt the bastards down and kill them

Jun 7 @ 10:05PM  
ya aught to see/hear what it's doing to those poor men when they sleep.............da' basards

Jun 7 @ 10:22PM  
Damn i think they struck here too!!!! Hang the thieves. LOL

Jun 7 @ 10:31PM  
Ok who stole my girl's body parts?
You bastards better run like hell!
When I catch up with you,
Your asses are gonna be sorry!
I stll think youre beautiful Trease!

Jun 7 @ 11:15PM  
Gives way to the angry mob, keeping to the shadow. ... this could get ugly folks

Jun 7 @ 11:23PM  
Yes it could get very ugly

Jun 8 @ 6:40AM  
Alas I am another victim what out for your stomach they really like to have fun there.

Jun 8 @ 9:58AM  
Maybe we should start a neighbor hood watch. I'll be glad to take the first shift. I won't let the bastards switch anything else. Looks down. They have been here as well.

Jun 8 @ 12:23PM  
Oh hell I admit it, I stole 'em to make an ultra-realistic sex doll. I'm hauling myself to 3-day rehab tomorrow.

By the way the doll is in a safe place ...

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Missing Parts....