I got sick over the weekend, never mind the details. In a nutshell, I was sniffling and snorting and snoring and hacking and coughing... especially at night. My wife was thrilled by this development--so thrilled, in fact, that I volunteered to sleep on the couch in the dog's room for a few nights. I'll get into the reasons why (besides that she was moments away from throttling me) in a little bit. And yes, you read correctly: our dog, a Yorkshire terrier, has his own bedroom. Pictures forthcoming... maybe.
Under normal circumstances, the sleeping setup would appear to be ideal. King bed, nice mattress, she diminutive, I not exactly hulking--plenty of space, right? Well, it's not the cakewalk you might expect. She, though on the small side, has this uncanny ability to take up a startlingly vast area of what hitherto seemed like an endless sleeping space. When not splayed out as if making a snow angel, she positions herself along the diagonal such that no matter which side I approach from, there's a body part that I'll get yelled at for bumping into.
Eventually, though, we'll reach a transient accord and settle into our respective spots; she's fickle about which side, so it can change at any time. More importantly, though, she's just not that comfortable. She can't stand how I change the gradient of the mattress so that she feels like she's compelled to roll toward me. She sleeps lightly, wakes frequently, sometimes talks agitated nonsense that I still have to engage or risk getting in trouble, and ultimately finds herself feeling unrested in the morning.
I feel bad about this. She already has a propensity to feel sore and uncomfortable--she has a progressive muscle disease--and the last thing she needs is Typhoid Lintroller coughing up phlegm wads all night. And sure enough, after that first night when I retired to that just-too-small couch with my little dog steaming up the backs of my knees all night, she woke up stating she can't remember feeling so refreshed. A few nights of this, and she's really feeling good.
On principle, though, she doesn't want it to stay this way. Neither do I. We both dislike the idea of separate beds; years ago, she threw a fit when she found out that my parents, for as long as I can remember, sleep in separate beds--in separate rooms--owing to total sleep incompatibility (temperature differences, snoring, sheet-hogging). In fact, she said she would never tolerate that kind of arrangement in a marriage; however, eleven-plus years with me may be causing her to reevaluate that philosophy.
So... is it a fallacy that sleeping without your life partner beside you is untenable?
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sumdaysoon
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Jun 7 @ 6:33AM
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well the older i get the more i need good sleep........so if sleeping together causes restless sleep......i see nothing wrong with seperate sleeping....... 
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Pudge2you
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Jun 7 @ 9:11AM
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For me I couldn't do it. Get a new mattress first, maybe one of those individual sleep number thingys... Rest is important for health, but the importance of physical proximity on psychological proximity should not IMO, be underestimated.
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Giggl_Sprite
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Jun 7 @ 3:54PM
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Actually, I can't sleep if Dom isn't beside me. So the thought of sleeping in separate beds and rooms!  I'd never sleep at all! Lol, but that's just me. But if it became a situation where sleeping separately was actually beneficial to both of us, I'd consider it.
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