(I originally posted this on the regular MD site, but I have since cancelled my account there so I'm posting this here)
I know, the title has nothing to do with what I'm going to write about. But...I felt like putting Meerkats in here somewhere because I think they're cool. 
I've been putting a lot of thinking in to what I think love really means, to me, and what a relationship should be...again, to me.
I've read all the little "Love is..." cartoons, talked to my friends, both male and female, talked with people I've only known online, both male and female and talked with a few relatives on this subject. I just thought that, at least for my own sake, I should put this all down somewhere. So, I decided to put it here. Do what thou wilt with this information or...just ignore me and call me a freak. 
After watching my mom go through hell with my real father, and then the divorce and ultimately his passing away, I didn't know what love was. I saw the fighting, I saw the violence and I saw the things that no child should ever see his parents go through. Yet, as a child, I was blissfully ignorant of what was my only example of love to be seen. I made it through all that, I think, a better person because I had seen what love is not. Love is not making your spouse cry or bleed simply because you have a mean streak, you got drunk, it was Tuesday or they served mac n cheese at the local diner. Love is not accusing your spouse of infidelity, of lies and of deceit simply because you felt guilty over doing these same things yourself. Love is not what my father put my mom through before she finally had enough and left him.
And then, my mom met my step-dad. He was kind, he was considerate and he paid attention to me. No, he never acted like he wanted to be my father, he was just himself with me and I had a lot of fun with him. Granted, it took my mom some time to bring him around me. I'm actually grateful to her for that. I think that, not having had a real father around all the time and not having his love when he was, I would have latched on to the first father figure that came along with the voracity only young children can muster.
My step dad treated my mom right and while he probably wasn't the most romantic man in the world, he made sure we had all we needed, he made sure we were safe and happy and if something was wrong, he'd do his best to fix it, whatever the problem. Yeah, they had disagreements. Everybody does, I believe. But they always worked it out, kissed and made up and everything was fine.
My dad would wake up first, make the coffee and have a cup or two himself, then wake my mom up and share coffee with her before I got up for school or whatever. My mom and step-dad would both kiss the other one and tell them they loved them if they got up to go to the bathroom, to fix dinner, to go to the store or even just go out on the porch. They never went to bed mad at each other and they always made sure that I knew, even though they don't always see eye to eye, they still loved each other and everything was just fine.
(continued here)
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Blogs by baldbychoice2kx:
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| A tail of Meerkats and poptarts (part 1) |
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zena343
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Jun 5 @ 11:55AM
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waiting patiently for the second part baldy 
very heartwarming story so far.
Zena
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Trinijen
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Jun 5 @ 10:53PM
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call me a freak.
Only if you are, baby! 
Love is not making your spouse cry or bleed simply because you have a mean streak, you got drunk, it was Tuesday or they served mac n cheese at the local diner. Love is not accusing your spouse of infidelity, of lies and of deceit simply because you felt guilty over doing these same things yourself.
Amen Brother. Been there done that. Yelled at, accused, cried, and bled. Drug by the hair, had a gun to my head and yet when I got the guts to leave, I'm the one that didn't have another kid for 2 years. Hell I'm still not married. He was married to his new GF less than a month after our divorce was final, and his son was born March 5th. Hmmmm lets see it takes 40 weeks to have a baby, give or take a week or two, which is 10 months, yeah it takes 1 month to show up. But we split up the 20th of September. Which is 3 or 4 months shy of being long enough. So who was cheating.
My mom and step-dad would both kiss the other one and tell them they loved them if they got up to go to the bathroom, to fix dinner, to go to the store or even just go out on the porch. They never went to bed mad at each other and they always made sure that I knew, even though they don't always see eye to eye, they still loved each other and everything was just fine.
This is how my parents are. And my dad is not my biological father, he adopted me when I was 4, he was my step dad.
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Looking4ever
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Jun 6 @ 5:38AM
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call me a freak.
Only if you are, baby!
Aw! I wanted to call you a freak first! 
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