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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road.

posted 6/2/2007 4:56:41 PM |
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tagged: joke
  swyeter

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

JUDGE JUDY:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white-washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The platform is much more stable and will never cra.....@&&^( C ....... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?




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Comments:

post a comment!

bandengor

Jun 2 @ 5:01PM  
You beat me to it! I heard that one a while back and had wanted to post it but never got around to it! Nice!
NightOfOld

Jun 2 @ 5:09PM  
DavidL44

Jun 2 @ 7:27PM  
Now that really cracked me up!
Dr. Phil might have it. New probs we don't need right?
I think Oprah could buy the chicken a way acroos the road safely!
GW sounds selfish. nothing else to say about him.
Don was a little too technical. Probably why he got the boot!
Anderson is a searcher. If there is a logic to this He will find it
Not sure about Kerry, he kinda freaks me out a little, but ya never know!
Judge Judy is cool, but why does she talk about the way a chicken walks?
Pat is just too serious. Lighten up a little dude!
Martha is here only for the money. Can't blame her though in today's day and age.
Dr. Seuss knows the answer. He's just not telling!
Kudos to Earnest. Hope I don't die like that. Alone!!!
Jerry is GAY. Simple as that! He has eaten the chicken, and just not come out yet. Just another example of bashing due to repression. Open up Jerry!!!
Grandpa has the best view on this! Old fashioned, and not complicated.
Barbara goes deep. She could explain the effects of a germ on a fly's ass.
John Lennon was great. A peaceful man. His take is understood!
Aristotle, Well he didnt realize the future of automobiles running over chickens.
Bill Gates and echicken. That figures with him. Don't forget to reboot!
Einstein had an idea there. Do we really walk?
Bill Clinton was a good president! Perhaps he defines the chicken as a woman.
Who else could get a blow job in the oval office and get away with it?
Al Gore is good! Maybe he did invent the chicken.
Colonel Sanders only wished he had served that chicken on a platter!
Good question for the blogs!!!! Have a good day!

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road.