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Confessions of a Man-Slut

posted 5/29/2007 11:54:14 PM |
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  DickSlippery

Well, boys and girls, the results are in and it turns out that I am a shitty husband. Its not that I don’t love my wife, becuz I do. My problem seems 2 lean more 2wards my inability 2 keep from sharing that love with other bitches, whether it be over the internet, via e-mail or God 4bid (I don’t get 2 use that one much...I like it) in person. I have been trying 2 keep that last one 2 a minimum, since the wife made it clear she would not tolerate any more of the shit, and I tend 2 believe she means it this time.

U see, any woman iz only going 2 be able 2 take so much shit from U B4 she fucking snaps and can’t deal with Ur dumbass anymore. That’s when U get shifted out of loving partner status and N2 that of loving friend, provided U haven’t done some unforgivable shit that she has 2 hate Ur ass 4. Even then, she will probably still want the best 4 U.

But right now, what she wants iz 4 me 2 wake the fuck up and see what I have, B4 she finally tells me 2 kick fucking rocks. Iz it a necessity that we lose what we have B4 we start 2 cherish it? That seems exceedingly stupid 2 me, yet I find myself tempted 2 risk losing it all on an almost daily basis. Ok...not daily...I don’t get that much action. But U get my point, right? Why do I still have this insane drive 2 destroy what I already have, and so many others want?

There iz one argument which states that this behavior iz genetic in origin, That men and women are simply wired differently, and our need 4 different women stems from some deep rooted need 2 procreate left over from when we were cavemen or some shit. Yeah, right...So long as I’m not sleeping under a fucking rock I just don’t see that one flying. I can hear her now. “U can be a fucking caveman all U want, motherfucker, but if I see Ur Neanderthal ass running around with Betty fucking Rubble Ur gonna be looking 4 a new cave 2 dwell in.” Hey, I gotta theory 4 Ur ass. I gotta theory that it wuz a dude that came up with this shit 2 explain why he wuz banging his 24 year-old lab assistant.

I tend 2 lean 2wards the argument that men are just fucking stupid. Get them N2 any situation that results in an erection and all fucking bets are off. And U gotta figure that has something 2 do with a motherfucker’s blood supply being routed down there rather than 2 the brain where he so desperately needs it, right? And U know what that means. It means that the bigger the dick, the dumber the guy. I know some of U guys are thinking 2 Urselves, ‘Bullshit! If that were true, I’d drop N2 a fucking coma every time I got wood! Bada-bing!’ But let’s be honest...very few of us are going 2 be needing a transfusion anytime soon and most of those of us who are are probably gay anyway. It’s kinda like the good-looking guy rule (that rule being: If he iz a well dressed, good-looking guy he iz either gay, or already has a woman dressing his good-looking ass). Most guys with cocks like that must figure it takes another guy 2 appreciate the whole wonder of it. There may be something 2 that. I imagine there are a lot of bitches that take one look and are like, “U wanna put that where? I don’t think so, mister.” Guys just seem 2 be a lot more...um...enthusiastic about that sort of thing. U know...4 the most part...

I myself wouldn’t know, since I have an unusually small cock. Standing at attention it iz maybe two inches on a good day. It still wakes me up by tapping on my chest, though. Then it hops on over 2 the window and cockle-doodle-doos the day awake. It really iz the cutest thing. U gotta see it 2 believe it.

Now I 4got what I wuz talking about. That must mean I’m getting a hard-on.

Keeping U posted

DS

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Comments:

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wtxman

May 30 @ 12:09AM  
Wasn't this a re-write of a blog you did awhile back; sweriously Dick,we can't keep on carrying you like this. You've got to start pulling your weight around here if you expect to stay.Note to Pudge:take a look at Dicks contract and see if we can get rid of his good for nothing ass and that 2" cock of his. kudo bro.
PrincessKissy

May 30 @ 12:13AM  
So... ummm... you're hard, huh?

You... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... wanna fuck.. or something??
dumblonde

May 30 @ 3:23AM  
amusing, as alwasy, DS....
whisperingcomet

May 30 @ 7:28AM  
Ok, Ive been pulled into your evil web and will spend the next few hours reading all your blogs...
comet
Pudge2you

May 30 @ 8:29AM  
Repeat it like a mantra... I will not fuck up... I will not fuck up....

Mr. Slippery I checked into your contract with Cellar LLC and it seems you have lucked out on this one. The minimum penis size clause was apparently waived due to a substantial donation of titty pics. Looks like someone was looking out 4 you this time.

I will not fuck up... I will not fuck up...
Ewe_Wish

May 30 @ 8:29AM  
OMG finally a blog from you that i understood!!!

Ur dumbass anymore
And why bring Larry into it, Hes the dumbass.

Acutally this was pretty damn funny. Kudos to you.
Angel_45304

May 30 @ 8:56AM  
Very interesting,
veeruinus

May 30 @ 9:16AM  
I hope its not dancing on your chest
NachoBaby

May 30 @ 9:25AM  
Ok here is your argument for, Monogamy is societal. In the past women were hardwired to find a new mate every four years. Just as soon as the offspring were weened.

If that don't work dude, just keep ya mouth shut and lie low for a while
hulkNpooh

May 30 @ 1:20PM  
i knew you could call a man a slut..or man-whore. you should be careful..the wife might use your penis as a rearview window decor.
lintroller

May 30 @ 3:31PM  
The grass is always greener, pal--we can all relate to that. Next time you feel your willpower waning as your erection is rising, make a point of visualizing your life without her; make it real, imagine how it would feel. Practice it unaroused, so you know what you're doing when you need it in a pinch. Should be an effective buzzkill. Then go spend time with her or call her or write her a letter or something. You guys might just be stagnating a little bit... that's ok, it happens. Push through it, and the relationship will emerge on the other side, tough as nails.
belle1010

Jun 1 @ 12:21PM  
I thought it was explained best by this "boys spend 9 months trying to get out, and the rest of thier lives trying to get back in".

undercoverlover403

Jun 1 @ 1:07PM  
Damn. And so close too...

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Confessions of a Man-Slut