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I don't understand this

posted 5/23/2007 8:50:54 PM |
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I'm going to have to apologize to the women in advance for this.

But recently, I got a call from an ex-girlfriend. We broke up because she thought "I cared too much" and that " I was too unselfish". Seemed like a highly retarded reason to break up with someone but anyways, she hooked up with a guy rather quickly after she broke up with me. She's been blabbing about how happy she is now and I let her have her happiness and gave her the thumbs up.... Then she calls me. Crying like the ocean itself is falling from her eyes. She blutters "I can't be with him any more... he beats me all the time and never looks at me for what I am other then a piece of meat".

.... Yet beforehand she knew this guy was like this. And then, she tells me "She wishes she had things like they were between the two of us" ... Yeah, I told her to call the police and hung up the phone. Honestly, I'm not the type to be welcomed to games like that. If the guy seemed like a honest upstanding dude who'd treat her like a person, and -then- started beating her, I'd go down there and beat his ass myself but... she knew what she was getting into. Does this make me wrong?

Do some women (I apologize again) so blindly toss the guy who'd treat them right to the side just because "They care" and accept a guy who beats her/treats her like shit on frequent timing as the one they want to be with and love?

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May 23 @ 9:04PM  
as wierd as it may sound, some women are automatically attracted to trash, and sometimes it isn't what they really want.... sounds wierd... I know....and sometimes you don't realize what you've got until it's gone....

May 23 @ 9:12PM  
This is similar to what happened to a girl friend of mine. She had a perfectly decent, lovely chap, who treated her right, and respected her...but this was not enough for her, she wanted a bit more, shall we say, 'danger and excitement' in her life. Unfortunately for her, she left Mr Nice Guy, and found Mr A Hole...who slept with other girls, got my friend pregnant, left her, found out she had an abortion, came back to her, ridiculed her, and just generally undermined her. She always regretted leaving her previous partner. He was devasted, but let her go cos he loved her so much. Being her friend, I tried to warn her, but you don't listen when you're 'in love'...'in lust' was probably more like it. She's left him now, and is not seeing anybody...but she always tells me she regrets leaving Mr Nice.

Sometimes women like to think they can change the bad boys...if you're already good, then their work is done and there's nothing for them to do. And I'm not saying this about all women...just in case I get told off by anyone!

May 23 @ 9:13PM  
It's sad but true with some women I think. I have seen it happen so many times. As for a reason I can't tell you but I'm sorry it happened to you. Take care.

May 23 @ 9:19PM  
hopon: That just sounds wrong. You know.. True more then likely but wrong. I just don't see the sense in it.

NaughtyButNice284: It's like a guy trying to change a girl who's trying to sleep around with everyone, huh? :P

Max:Thanks but I'm not too torn up about her situation. It was more wondering the logic behind women doing that was all >_>

May 23 @ 9:41PM  

Yes I have found this to be true in many cases. It has happened to me.
I think you did the right thing, because she'd do it to you again.

Good blog RE kudo for you. And I wish you luck.

May 23 @ 9:42PM  
This has happened to me, my friend. There's a lot of reasons that women do this, and they each have heir own angles. Some do like the idea of "changing the bad boy" and that usually backfires on them. The point here is that if the girl is so immature that they can't decide what a good thing is, then you don't want them.

Others are basically looking for you to prove you can be their "white night" by getting caught up in some shitpile they made for themselves, and hoping you'll come and rescue them. Don't fall for this, either. It's tempting, but it does teach people that you'll be the one to clean up their mess. Before long they're using you each time they want to do something stupid.

Then there are the women who are "just interested in a good time." They want to go where the action is, and they've decided that the action isn't around you. This is another bullshit excuse. The truth is that if you want to have something in your life (action, passion, adventure, whatever) the only person who can put it there is you. If a woman doesn't realize this for herself she is far from free and will be a slave to other people's passions until she learns to do for herself.

Stick to your ideals, expand your knowledge, explore your world. Do this and the right one will come to you.

May 23 @ 10:30PM  
If she calls again, be armed with information that could help her as well. Don't just hang up on her. thats cold, callous and cruel.

May 23 @ 10:39PM  
If she calls again, be armed with information that could help her as well. Don't just hang up on her. thats cold, callous and cruel.

I disagree. It's not your "job" to help people who don't want to help themselves. Tell her when she's ready to be more mature she can be with you then. Until then you're not interested in games. If she respects your backbone, then you're good. If she doesn't, then you don't want her anyway.

May 23 @ 11:12PM  
zaralyon: I did arm her with helpful information. Call the police.

Dominus: While I tend to have the nature to help people who can't/don't even help themselves, I draw the line at people who more or less see me as a thing to be used at ones discretion :P

May 23 @ 11:14PM  
no,you are and were not wrong at all,she fell for his line of shit,assholes are good at lieing and alot of people fall for it,female and male,if she is like that what you said,you couldnt trust her from the start

May 23 @ 11:32PM  
Some women need to get a grip, the whole "Lust" thing doesnt last and as long as you know going in not to let your gaurd down have a good time....

Sounds like girlfriend isnt very strong and allowed this man to treat her this way due to insecurities, she needs to fix herself first before she can be with any one else and once she does that, she will never be with another man like that again or she will be at least able to stand up for is good that you were still nice to her after what she did to you, says a LOT about your character and how you treat women...kudos to you !@!......

May 24 @ 12:16AM  
If she has been in a abusive situation before then it will be hard for her
to break the cycle. Women who have been abused tend to push the
nice guys away. I know this because I have been there and done that
it sucks and it is a hard cycle to get out of but it can be done/

May 24 @ 6:59AM  
You did the right thing last thing you want to deal with is her DRAMN !

Go find yourself a nice girl who likes nice men !


May 24 @ 10:13AM  
Yes women do that why? who the hell knows cause they think the grass is greener on the other side maybe? When you have that answer you might be able to answer why men do that to thier wives when they get to a certain age and have a midlife crisis and take off with the younger woman. ( that was in generalizations not all men are like that)

People have a tendency of wanting what they cant have. So with you she found reliability and attention but it wasnt perhaps "exciting" for her so she found that kind of excitement (not the best kind either) instead of making things exciting with you. I agree with Dominus you dont owe her anything its not up to you to teach her about how to be in a relationship.

Not all women are like that and the right one will come along for you when its time.

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I don't understand this