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Rumors Lies & Innuendo XIII (Part One)

posted 5/22/2007 5:39:12 PM |
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  DickSlippery

Once again, almost as if I set out 2 do it, I have proven that I have no concept of size, and furthermore refuse 2 limit my blogs as 2 the length of the content within. In other words, I write what I write 4 as long as I write it. Once I stop writing it, it iz done. How long it gets B4 it iz done iz something that iz completely out of my control, anyway. Just be glad I’m still writing this crap, U ungrateful fucks. It could be worse, U know...U could have 2 stick around 4 a whole fucking hour just 2 post Part Two of this piece of shit, becuz if U don’t it won’t make the blogs page and no one will be able 2 fucking find it. Meanwhile, back at The Hall of Justice, just what the fuck am I supposed 2 do 4 an hour? Sit around with my cock in my hand? Well...2 be honest I would have been doing that anyway. Sitting here, cock in hand, checking out pictures of LotsaLeg65 and dumblonde...

Don’t worry – U didn’t miss twelve masterpieces. I used 2 call this piece Scattered Thoughts & Random Ideas, but somehow this just seems more appropriate.

I suppose I should start by dispelling the rumor that I will be leaving AMD in the fall so I can replace Rosie O’Donnell on the View. As much as I wouldn’t mind having a crack at that blonde bitch who izn’t Debbie Matanopoulis, I’m afraid my nerves just can’t handle the stress of having 2 dodge Barbara Walters in the hallway 2 keep from being sexually harassed! And believe me, it has absolutely nothing 2 do with the woman’s age, either. I am a sick motherfucker. I would bang an old lady just 2 freak my friends out. I am ok with that aspect of it. What I fear iz that Barbara will devour me...literally. Sometimes I feel like the bitch wants 2 eat me 4 real, and every time she walks by me and pokes me with her finger or slaps me across the ass or something what she iz really doing iz tenderizing me! Her and Joy Behar are planning 2 eat me, I tell U! Somebody listen 2 me, would U? 4 the love of all that iz holy...they’re fucking ZOMBIES! AAAAAARGH!

Radio traffic out of Illinois iz indicating that our own beloved belle1010 has been identified as the Big-Titted Bandit – a fugitive outlaw wanted all over the western United States 4 Bank Robbery and Grand Larceny. BTB, as she iz known by the police has a very distinct MO. In each of the seven cases she iz known 4 she has robbed the establishment topless. Witnesses report being unable 2 recall the color of her hair, but are all in agreement that her nipples are awfully perky. The true identity of BTB became clear 2 the authorities when someone remembered that belle1010 has been cited 4 public nudity one hundred sixteen times since January the first of this year. As they are still unable 2 locate this dangerous vixen, the FBI warns that she may be armed and that they should proceed with extreme caution. If 4 some reason she suddenly starts lactating, someone’s eye could get put out, so it may be best 2 just lie back and let the FBI handle things from here...

A little birdie told me that PrincessKissy finally got her limey boyfriend N2 the country. Poor Argit01 never had a fucking chance. See...they just don’t have any bitches over there in jolly old England that got ass like this, my good man! Once U’ve got Urself a piece of that good and tight, made in the USA, bonifide Prime A Midwestern pussy like that bitch has got right there U will understand just why we had 2 whip yawls ass back in 1814! There are beautiful girls from all over the world, but none’s beauty shone like the American girl’s...

4 those who find my artwork of interest here’s a little tidbit. I have been working on a piece with Looking4ever since 4ever, it seems. I even posted a “preliminary piece” a couple of months ago, but wuz never quite satisfied with the outcome. Well, my perseverance seems 2 have paid off becuz I finished the final piece two daze ago and I am just now coming 2 terms with the fact that I have created a fucking masterpiece. Reminiscent of Andy Warhol’s work, only I added a big-titted bitch 2 the equation. What the fuck would U rather look at...a can of tomato fucking soup, or a nice big titty? No brainer, right? Even other bitches would rather look at some titties than the shit they’ve been planning 2 set out 2 give 2 the poor, yo! Anyway, look 4 it 2 make its debut on my Website sometime later this week...

2 BE CONTINUED – if Ur lucky. U may have 2 go looking 4 the motherfucker, though. I don’t know if I can hold out a whole goddamn hour. I know if I keep looking at dumblonde’s ass I won’t make it anywhere but 2 the bathroom 2 toss one off, that’s 4 goddamned sure!

Keeping U posted,

DS

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by DickSlippery:
If I Waste My Time Writing It, Will U Waste Ur Time Reading It?
Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XIV
Here We Go Again....
Dear AMD...
Iz this Better,Goddamnit?
I'm Sorry I Took the Money...
Nuthin bout Nuthin
Paris in the summer...
Just when U thought it Wuz Safe...
Ever wonder what I'm doing when I'm not Doing This?
Confessions of a Man-Slut
Rumors Lies & Innuendo XIII (Part Two)
Rumors Lies & Innuendo XIII (Part One)
Al Sharpton...Whig? (Part Two)
Al Sharpton...Whig? (Part One)
If U Want Dick...U Got Him
The Breast of Thymes (Part Two)
The Breast of Thymes (Part One)
Scattered Thoughts & Random Ideas XII (Part Two)
Scattered Thoughts & Random Ideas XII (Part One)
Goddamnit...I Just Fucking LOVE Big Tits!
I wonder if I’m normal
Now, if we can only get the Jews 2 apologize 4 Jesus
And the Sinner is...
Roll Call


Comments:

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Ewe_Wish

May 22 @ 5:54PM  
You know if i had to make a list of the top 5 most scariest people on AMD i think you might be in the number 1....and number 2.......and number 3 positions. Welcome back by the way.
Argit01

May 22 @ 5:58PM  
Well I got me a whole lot more titties than I thought possible in my wildest dreams on Saturday and Crissy and I are picking up her engagement ring tomorrow (it's a set of diamond encrusted knuckle dusters with a 2 carat sapphire center). Yes you did see that right I spelled it center (see I am starting to speak the language).
Anyways, I am not looking forward to being deported on Friday as I am not lecherous enough to be able to stay in the country despite proving that I was up to the task and showing the customs officers my complete collection of Color Climax and Rubber Vixens weekly. At least I can shout "oh baby oh baby" down the phone to Coltsfootball as he isn't allowed out of the country as he didn't pay for a bag of sweets he bought when he was 7 and the IRS want the interest on the taxes backdated.
wtxman

May 22 @ 5:59PM  
You think this blog is worth two bucks a word? It's comprehendable,thats the problem; We wuz expecting more and got less;wtf,I'll be sending over a case of jackie d to help loosen u up,and maybe some vicodin that pk has left. and since they are totally useless a kudo for you.
DickSlippery

May 22 @ 6:07PM  
I'm not even sure what the fuck U are talking about, Argit01. Obviously, U have found Ur way 2 Midland and that sick fuck wtxman has got his hooks N2 U. Whatever U do, man, remember this...If they tell U U have been abducted by aliens, but the alien vessel has been disguised 2 look like somebody named Billy Bob's garage, somebody may be having some fun with U (most likely Billy Bob, but that's just a guess...). Do not let them do an anal probe. Other than that have a good time and remember, "Go Utah!"

DS
DickSlippery

May 22 @ 6:09PM  
Oh...

Looking4funat45 lemme know when we get 2 position 69.

wtxman

May 22 @ 6:11PM  
While I will not argue the fact that I am a sick fuck,I am also very smart,and have volunteered to keep PK company while argit is gone.
DickSlippery

May 22 @ 6:14PM  
Wait just a goddamned minute...

What's next? U gonna start calling Urself DS, U motherfucker?

I believe we need some mediation here...any volunteers?

DS
wtxman

May 22 @ 6:21PM  
Off the juice for a week and he gets just a tad testy.
Ewe_Wish

May 22 @ 6:39PM  
Looking4funat45 lemme know when we get 2 position 69.

well in fear of repeating myself i will anyways:

Roses are Red
Violets are fine
I'll be the six
if you'll be the nine.

belle1010

Jun 1 @ 12:15PM  
Yep, i'm on a crime spree! I gotta make some money somehow, yeesh! Oh btw, i'm just a little closer in proximity to you these days

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Rumors Lies & Innuendo XIII (Part One)