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If U Want Dick...U Got Him

posted 5/12/2007 1:26:38 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: whig

I really am getting tired of having nothing 2 say. We all fucking know how long I can go with nothing 2 fucking say, don’t we? Look how far I am now – what have I said? Blah, blah, blah...nothing...nada...crapola. In the Fifties the DJs had payola, right? Follow me here – then in the Seventies all the fucking tree huggers had granola. Now, here in the new millennium we bloggers get crapola. At least, that’s what U get if U read mine, or so the evidence would indicate

But then, the argument could be made that the reader knows this going N2 it, and iz fully prepared 2 deal with the onslaught of bullshit reading one of my blogs iz apt 2 dump on an unsuspecting reader. It’s like an extreme sport. These assholes strap a fence board 2 their Doc Marten’s and try 2 surf my bullshit as it cascades over them. It gets pretty fucking wild out there. It’s gonna be in the X-Games soon. Yeah...U should really, like, check it out, y’know?

Some of U pathetic fuckers could actually be looking 4ward 2 reading a blog about absolutely fucking nothing (especially if it comes in forty-seven parts) 4 a change. Who wants 2 think all the fucking time, goddamnit! That’s what my Whig campaign iz all about! They want us 2 elect the next puppet, as if it really makes any difference who ends up in the driver’s seat. If it’s Giuliani it’s the status quo. If it’s Obama it’ll be historic, sure, but so what? There izn’t a whole lot U can do with this fucking mess, U know? If it’s Mitt Romney I think I am going 2 move 2 Mexico and become a drug smuggler. It’s something I have always believed I would be good at. That would seem 2 me 2 be a good time 2 leave the country and try my luck. And if it’s Clinton, well...if it iz Hillary Clinton that fulfills some ancient prophecy from the Book of Revelation and marks the beginning of the end of daze. If it coincides with The Chicago Cubs winning the World Series...LOOK OUT! That means Jesus iz coming back. He’s gonna take one look around and be pissed as all hell. I’m not cleaning this shit up, either. U fuckers brought this on Urselves, now deal with it.

Me? I don’t got shit 2 worry about. Why iz that, U ask? Becuz by then I will be long gone in the Rapture, that’s why. Not becuz I accepted Jesus N2 my heart, fuck that. I know I guy who knows a guy and he got me on the list. I maybe had 2 do a few things I’m not 2 proud of, but this iz the fucking end of daze we are squawking about here. What’s a hummer and a splashdown compared 2 fighting the Prince of fucking Darkness and his army of minions. Fuck that shit. If the fucking preacher ain’t gotta do it, I ain’t finna do it. U must got me fucked up with all that bullshit.

Fuck it...I think I’m done. That’s the problem with these about nothing fucking blogs. I never really know when they are done. That’s when I just throw in something like VOTE WHIG BITCH and quit writing. But this time I’m not going 2 do that. Why? Becuz I care, that’s why. I care that some of U send me some titty pics. I’m serious...full shot, well-lit (preferably natural sunlight) and clear. Face iz optional. C’mon...U know U want 2 get naughty with me. Send me Ur pic and let me make U immortal.

Until next time...

Keeping U posted


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Nuthin bout Nuthin
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Just when U thought it Wuz Safe...
Ever wonder what I'm doing when I'm not Doing This?
Confessions of a Man-Slut
Rumors Lies & Innuendo XIII (Part Two)
Rumors Lies & Innuendo XIII (Part One)
Al Sharpton...Whig? (Part Two)
Al Sharpton...Whig? (Part One)
If U Want Dick...U Got Him
The Breast of Thymes (Part Two)
The Breast of Thymes (Part One)
Scattered Thoughts & Random Ideas XII (Part Two)
Scattered Thoughts & Random Ideas XII (Part One)
Goddamnit...I Just Fucking LOVE Big Tits!
I wonder if I’m normal
Now, if we can only get the Jews 2 apologize 4 Jesus
And the Sinner is...
Roll Call
The Benefit of Having Nothing 2 Say
Shenanigans with DickSlippery
Random Thoughts and Scattered Ideas XI (a webdrama in four chapters)


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May 12 @ 1:34AM  

May 12 @ 1:41AM  

May 12 @ 1:05PM  
Just when I was writing your demise,a worthless kudo for a worthless blog.

May 14 @ 11:09AM  
What about the silly putty?

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If U Want Dick...U Got Him