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posted 5/11/2007 10:02:49 AM |
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State of the Onion got you down? Echos of stupidity playing in your head like some bad 80's song? Had it up to here with "he said, she said...", bad e-mail after bad e-mail after begging after angry retort to rejection?

I have a tip.

Get yourself down Texas way to a spot just west of Dallas / Ft Worth. This little spot is called Possum Kingdom my friends and it's where the journey of a lifetime will begin. You see there's a road there, the road to salvation. Highway 380. A straight flat stretch of asphalt that connects Possum Kingdom to Tokio. The kind of lonesome road that has scrub on either side, dust and tumbleweed blowing across it. The kind you can see forever till the heat rising from the surface wiggles the world in a way that makes you wonder if it will ever end. The kind of road that a radar detector works great on, if a Ranger happens to be on watch.

Head west, kick 'er down and let your mind wander for a bit, cause there's hardly a need to steer. Some many miles down that dreamy black line there's gonna be and un-marked trail that intersects this sable ribbon. You wanna turn left at the rock with the horseshoe etched in it. You are now on CR-121 which is barely a road at all, just a bumpy thread through the brush. But this trail doesn't follow the goose. This IS the road less traveled. This trail leads to a place where all your troubles just melt away, and the issues and the drama and the seriousness and the pressure become nothing but words in someone else's blog...

Fifteen miles or so down this dirt road, there's a lone Mesquite standing in knarled majesty just off to your right. That's how you know you have arrived. Pull off the side cause for sure others are coming, everyone needs to get away sometimes. Just behind that tree is where Paradise takes a vacation. Just behind that tree are the gates to a place you wanna, no, you need to be, and there ain't no Saint with a book on guard.

Twenty paces past you'll find an old wooden frame on the ground. Worn double doors with cracked paint just lying there at your feet. Rope handles blowing restless in that constant Texas breeze. Inscribed in each door is a single captal letter 'C'. You have arrived...

Give the rope a tug, if your mind is right. Give the rope a tug and follow me down. Give the rope a tug and be prepared to set a spell and let it all go.

Give the rope a tug friends... It's Cellar Time.

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May 11 @ 10:11AM  
Break out the Tequila!!!!!!!!

May 11 @ 10:14AM  
Finially!!!!! Some one good at giving directions. Mapquest didn't even know where it was.

May 11 @ 10:19AM  
I ll get the scotch and rum.

May 11 @ 10:43AM  

Cya'll down there

May 11 @ 11:06AM  
Ahh darlin.. while that may be tempting... I think I will drive up hwy 395 to John Day, take a right at the light and drive 15 more miles through farmland to Prairie City.. take another right on Strawberry Mtn road.. then park the car at the base of the mountain and hike the five miles to the falls. The snow should just about be gone by now.. and wild strawberries should be startin to get ripe... No one else will be around because there is still some snow... then I will hike up past the falls to the cave and just park my happy butt there for a few days...

May 11 @ 11:13AM  
Ok Pon, stop thru on your way back, we'll save you some party favors. There's an underground express that runs through Seneca, it'll bring ya right here... we'll leave the light on for you.

May 11 @ 11:17AM  
Holy fuck... you know where Seneca is???? Blink and you missed it. I knew there was a reason why I lusted you.. thought it was just that tummy..

May 11 @ 11:30AM  
I knew there was a reason why I lusted you.. thought it was just that tummy..
I thought it was those nipples!

May 11 @ 11:56AM  
Gee, I don't know... I'm kind of partial to my balmy Northeast. What is this "cellar" you speak of? Kindly elaborate...

May 11 @ 12:03PM  
I will Lint... In my next blog....

May 11 @ 2:08PM  

Well written and very good Directions. But you have now given a map for all to follow. You should remind them to watch out for the troll traps along the path.

kudo my friend.

May 11 @ 4:05PM  
I would like to thank my friend Pudge for his eloquent prose in describing the directions to the Cellar,however I am shocked that lintroller is in the dark about the Cellar. Someone give him a clue. Good job buddy,a kudo for you.

May 11 @ 4:15PM  
Not to worry Night! Trolls don't read blogs from guys like me.

And if one shows up? Well let's just say for now, that we have our ways.....

May 11 @ 10:19PM  
Well written! If I was close, I'd make the trip!

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