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NO WONDER I DONT LIKE TO FLY.....

posted 5/7/2007 7:34:42 PM |
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tagged: joke
  HRRRICKANE


> Airline Mechanics humor..
> >
> >
> > In case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a
> > college degree to fly a plane but only a high school
> > diploma to fix one.
> >
> > After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form,
> > called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about
> > problems with the aircraft.
> >
> > The mechanics correct the problems, document their
> > repairs on the form, and then pilots review the
> > gripe sheets before the next flight.
> >
> > Never let it be said that ground crews lack a
> > sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance
> > complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with
> > a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S)
> > by maintenance
> > engineers.
> >
> > By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that
> > has never, ever, had an accident.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> > S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> >
> > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> >
> > P: Something loose in cockpit.
> > S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> >
> > P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> > S: Live bugs on back-order
> >
> > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a
> > 200 feet per minute descent.
> > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> >
> > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> > S: Evidence removed.
> >
> > P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> > S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> >
> > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> > S: That's what friction locks are for.
> >
> > P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
> > S: IFF always! inopera tive in OFF mode.
> >
> > P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> > S: Suspect you're right.
> >
> > P: Number 3 engine missing.
> > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> >
> > P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
> > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right,
> > and be serious.
> >
> > P: Target radar hums.
> > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> >
> > P: Mouse in cockpit.
> > S: Cat installed.
> >
> > And the best one for last..................
> >
> > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
> > Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a
> > hammer.
> > S: Took hammer away from midget.=============
> >

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Blogs by HRRRICKANE:
THREE GUYS....
Subject: A letter from Mom
The Minister and the Texan
Butt Measurement...
I KNOW........IT'S BEEN AWHILE.......
NO WONDER I DONT LIKE TO FLY.....
MOM ALWAYS KNOWS....
HAVE FUN !!!!
SO TRUE.....
I FAILED .......
our family...
Looks like sex really is for the Birds......
HELP ME HELP ME!!!!
JACK AND BILL
#69 USES FOR DUCT TAPE
HUBBY ALWAYS GETS THE SHIT END !
miss ya all.....
so true !
THAT'LL WORK !
GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE !
))) SHAKIN(((
KEEPIN IT IN THE FAMILY
YA JUST NEVER KNOW.....
VASELINE
GEORGE W......


Comments:

post a comment!

DarkKnightWalking

May 7 @ 7:41PM  
OMG....
Funniest thing I have read in a long while.....
Definite kudos for this one
wtxman

May 7 @ 7:44PM  
Ditto DarkNight,and another Kudo,friend.
NightOfOld

May 7 @ 7:44PM  
Daized688

May 7 @ 7:44PM  
Agreed! FUNNY AS HELL!
skinonskin

May 7 @ 7:46PM  
I think I'll just drive down to TX this weekend, thank you very much!!
sundance64

May 7 @ 8:05PM  
No matter how many times I see this...it always makes me laugh!
HRRRICKANE

May 7 @ 8:05PM  
The good news is....there ARE no bad guys on the plane.......The bad news is....The pilots are DRUNK !!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHA....
veeruinus

May 7 @ 9:01PM  
Kudos.
Giggl_Sprite

May 7 @ 10:16PM  
That was awesome!
Good_lil_feller

May 8 @ 12:25AM  
LMFAO.....................

Good one!
cabl_guy

May 8 @ 9:01AM  
Those were good!
max49

May 8 @ 9:24AM  
LMFAO Here's another kudo for ya.
luv2liclst

May 8 @ 1:17PM  
soda hurts the nose!!!
kayla524

May 16 @ 9:12PM  

agree with sundance

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NO WONDER I DONT LIKE TO FLY.....