and thought I'd share it.
New Drugs For Women ONLY
DAMITOL: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for a full 8 hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN: Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
ST. MOMA'SWORT: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days
PEPTOBIMBO: Liquid silicone drink for women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR: Increases life expectency of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as "You make me want to be a better person."
BUYAGRA: Injectible stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT: When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same level of aggravation as nagging him
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