Goddamnit...I Just Fucking LOVE Big Tits! posted 4/30/2007 11:14:03 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: whig

DickSlippery

There! I said it. Now we can finally lay that controversy 2 rest. The truth of the matter iz, 4 those who are interested (all those uninterested parties may quit reading now...U know, if U want – no big whoop), I fucking love all titties. Big, small, irregular, man-made...I really don’t care. I fucking love them all. Except the ugly ones. U guys know who U are, and quite frankly U have no excuse. U can fix them whenever U want.

U wanna know the bitches I really feel sorry 4? 2 fucking bad...Ur the one who chose 2 continue reading. (I’m pretty sure that line two paragraph one of this blog absolves me from any civil liability in this matter). Man, I’m talking about those poor bitches that have the misfortune of being fat, and then having a bigger stomach than they do tits. I mean, honestly, what kind of God makes a bitch 250 pounds and none of it iz titty?

Then there’s that bitch who wuz always relatively flat chested 2 begin with, right? Then she got pregnant, had titties 4 a year or so and now iz left with these tubes of flesh that point directly at the ground. They look like hot dogs with nipples. It really iz a terrible thing. But like I said...a fixable one as well.

Fake tits get a bad rap, but let’s be honest. What would U rather look at every day? The bitch I just described or one with a fake, but well done, boob job? U know the answer. Which iz probably why Plastic Surgery iz so fucking popular, huh? And they said my high school edefication wuz a waste! Now who’s the loser?

Like I said, I’m down 4 whatever kind of titties a bitch has, but there iz no denying the fact that big tits hold some weird hypnotic power over men. Nothing will make a motherfucker 4get about a bitch’s fucked up head faster than a pair of 40DDs. I swear, if a bitch has nice tits it really duzn’t matter what the rest of her looks like. Don’t believe me? Fine...go pick up any fucking porno U want (excluding Vivid and Sin City...those fucking people are so attractive it iz almost weird) and tell me there izn’t some ugly ass bitch with big tits taking it in the ass (Wow...three blogs in a row that mention anal sex...hmmm). That’s what I motherfucking thought.

And don’t U think 4 one second that the bitches don’t know all this shit. U know when they leave and go 2 the bathroom 2gether? This iz the kinda shit they talk about in there. This and what they plan 2 do with the other sock. Oddly enough they never make out. See...that right there shows U I never would have made a good woman. Making out with another bitch would be one of the first things 2 cross my mind, and I don’t think any bitches I know ever fucking think about that shit at all. At least not when I’m around they don’t.

Which iz probably 4 the best. Last thing I need iz a front row seat 2 a lesbian make out session. No good can come from that fucking shit, I tell U. And unless U feel like making out with my old lady, Ur just going 2 have 2 take my word 4 it! If only becuz that’s just not a conversation I feel like having. “So, yeah, I’m sitting there minding my own business, and these two hotties start totally making out...” It duzn’t matter what the fuck else I say at that point. The damage has been done. I’m fucked, and not in the way I want 2 be, either.

Keeping U posted

DS

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Blogs by DickSlippery: Just when U thought it Wuz Safe... Ever wonder what I'm doing when I'm not Doing This? Confessions of a Man-Slut Rumors Lies & Innuendo XIII (Part Two) Rumors Lies & Innuendo XIII (Part One) Al Sharpton...Whig? (Part Two) Al Sharpton...Whig? (Part One) If U Want Dick...U Got Him The Breast of Thymes (Part Two) The Breast of Thymes (Part One) Scattered Thoughts & Random Ideas XII (Part Two) Scattered Thoughts & Random Ideas XII (Part One) Goddamnit...I Just Fucking LOVE Big Tits! I wonder if I’m normal Now, if we can only get the Jews 2 apologize 4 Jesus And the Sinner is... Roll Call The Benefit of Having Nothing 2 Say Shenanigans with DickSlippery Random Thoughts and Scattered Ideas XI (a webdrama in four chapters) Random Thoughts and Scattered Ideas XI (thirds anyone?) Random Thoughts and Scattered Ideas XI (part the second) Random Thoughts and Scattered Ideas XI (Part One of as many as it fucking takes) The Top 200 (The Final Chapter) The Top 200 Reasons I Still Love it Here on AMD (In Color)