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Pretty Much Dead At 40........

posted 4/27/2007 11:03:51 PM |
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Not like I expected to be around this, it's no big surprise. Yet, I can't see my life progressing or improving from this point. I try to talk to my old lady and my kids and they just look at me like a loser. I guess I depress them. Only 10 PM and they all bailed on me...............left me to my own demise.
Of course, it's because of the alcohol. Couldn't possibly be that the lack of hope that drove me to drinking. Naw! That's just stupid! I USED to work on roofs all day, make cash, chase pussy, drink and fit a lil sleep in here and there.
So, I've become more responsible these days. Now, I have NO job, chase NO pussy, make NO money and spend every day at home. Sleep far too much out of depression. But, hey! That was what was asked of me! Result: she's STILL not happy..............Imagine that!!!
I know you regs been hearing me bitch for a minute or 10. And, yes, it's a hard ass choice to make. I love her............ yet, she's killing me inside. Like, tonight would be a bad night..........and, where is she? In bed! Why? To avoid talking.....Unless it's about HER family or HER issues. WTF?! They all bail when it's MY turn!!!
So, news flash for you gals that recognize a un-happily married man. "Maybe! Just maybe, he needs a lil moral support once in awhile." Instead of blowing him off when he doesn't act mine is tonight. MAYBE you outta try consoling him and changing his mood. Just a thought.
21 years of marriage and I can find a more enticing, pacifiing and gratifying gal gal in about 2 hours at the bar. WTF?! At least I'd feel special for a minute. I get ignored and looked at like a dumbfuck at home. She went to bed since I was in a bad mood. And, if I was in MY environment, I'd be back sometime before Monday.
I know that I'm on a rant. Have been since I moved to "make life better". When exactly does that happen? I haven't seen it yet.! So, as my title says......I'm dead at 40! Shit isn't as easy as it was at 25. I'm older and more bitter now. And, I don't see it improving from here.........
I just don't see a future with the direction I'm going in.. So, do I give up on doing better? Or, start over? Either one is depressing................

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Apr 27 @ 11:13PM  
Did you guys ever try couples counseling? It can be a little (read: a lot) painful, but it's a helpful way to get all the issues articulated with an impartial mediator. Either way, sorry you're down in the dumps.

Apr 27 @ 11:13PM  
Do they know how you really feel about everything?
I'm sorry your sad......>----@----< Hug for you

Apr 27 @ 11:34PM  
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me.....?

Apr 27 @ 11:40PM  
hang in there man........and remember're the only one that can change YOUR life..........

Apr 28 @ 12:01AM  
^^^^^^ like he said......if you change nothing........nothing changes..........

Apr 28 @ 12:49AM  
Hey man reading your blog reminds me of people I see doing my job. I am a mental health and drug and alcohol counselor. You need to get the depression treated, preferably a psychiatrist. If you don't like the idea of one, at least go to your family doctor. Also, get treatment for the alcoholism. At least go to AA and get a sponsor so you have someone to talk to. It would be better if you got treatment. This whole situation can be turned around, but will only get worse if you ignore it. Your next step will be to become suicidal. You didn't get in this situation over night, and you won't get out of it overnight. But, in a relatively short period of time, things will be a lot better. Otherwise, you will lose your family, either because you started drinking again and/or because you cheated. My guess is that you were depressed back before you started to drink. Once, you get stable, then you can work on making the marriage stable. Also, don't hold the kids behavior against them, regardless of their age, they are naturally going to side with the parent who is more stable. Anyway, think about it what I am saying and hopefully you will do something positive about the situation.

Apr 28 @ 3:41AM  
Hey Cable...take Hornybill's advice...I did several years ago and my life has completely turned around...I go to AA meetings on a daily basis and now help people to find what I have...I feel good inside and what other people do doesn't bother me because I know it''s none of my business...get off your boney ass and go to a meeting...I promise you won't regret it.....and now about that Clit Enlarger you ordered....awww fuck know what I'm talkn about..JUST DO IT

Apr 28 @ 4:55AM  
Hey friend, I do know a litle of what you are going through, and all I can say is you can change your life; you are not to old( hell I'm 56,and not ready to give up yet)but you really need to get out of the situation your in!!!

Apr 28 @ 6:35AM  
Cheer up or else!


Apr 28 @ 9:00AM  

Apr 28 @ 9:56AM  
"I know that I'm on a rant. Have been since I moved to "make life better". When exactly does that happen? I haven't seen it yet.!"

Only you can change that, life is what you make it.

Apr 28 @ 4:23PM  
Hey!!!! Someone stole my pic!!!!!!

Apr 28 @ 4:24PM  
awwwww.....there it is!!!

Apr 28 @ 5:21PM  
Geesh Ash, that is so cute, you really do have the cutest little pics!!

Apr 28 @ 8:26PM  
Hang in there, Cableguy!

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Pretty Much Dead At 40........