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Erectivist Plank #3

posted 4/24/2007 12:35:06 PM |
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  Pudge2you

Welcome to the third and thankfully final installment of the Party platform. It does seem as though I am whipping a dead horse but my benefactors at Cellar LLC do not look kindly on unfinished work. So before we drop ole Bessy off at the glue factory, let's get one last good ride out of her.

Erectivist Party Platform Plank #3 - Foreign Policy

As before our stance on foreign policy can be boiled down to a few simple concepts that everyone here can easily understand. Troubles in Iraq have no viable military solution at this point so we will immediately withdraw and pick that fight up again at a later date. This will no doubt give some foreign nutjobs the feeling of victory, but so be it, we do have a plan for them. Foreign policy will still be conducted at the tip of the spear, we're just goning to change the game a little as I'll explain in a moment.

But first, I'd like to address the folks that have concerns over the fact that our world popularity has taken a hit as of late. Truth is we shouldn't fucking care. The Europeans have always hated us. They always will. As a whole they only hate the French more than us, and who can really blame them for that. We just have given them good reason to voice their opinion as of late. Trust me folks, when they have something to sell they quiet down nicely. The world is a slave to the Almighty Dollar and that's not going to change no matter how many Chinese get a Mastercard. So I say "fuck 'em" and that includes our northern friends too. They seem to be having their own trouble with the French. When a foreign organization bad mouths us, we'll withdraw funding and smack an import tarrif on 'em. They can bitch from their soup line. Now if we were to be threatened with physical harm? The next section will explain our reaction.

It is time to modernize the military. Ground warfare is only good if you want to occupy, we should get over that. We don't really need to occupy to have effect. My administration will find current and future programs to develop remote controlled weapons. We're already pretty good at this, just watch the Discovery channel for a couple evenings. We have an able force of folks to operate these at the ready. We will tap into XBOX Live and the Playstation Network. American 12 year olds are the best remote operators in the world. We will tell them they will get an "I PWND FRANCE" t-shirt for every 1000 kills. We'll probably have to build extra server capacity, it will be that popular. Every time someone sticks their head out of a cave somewhere, a stealth drone with hellfire missles will be whizzing by. We won't be able to arrest them but keeping them pinned down is probably enough. Stem cell reaserch will get a lot of funding. We'll get those folks together with the cloning guys and soon we'll have a little army to use for occupation. This Army will consist entirely of George Bush. He's got the right attitude and he is easily manipulated, so 1,000,000 Dubbyas will hit the trail if needed. They can stay where we need them for extended periods of time with little support. When foreign antagonists are tired of seeing shit blow-up near them and seeing 12 year olds on Myspace donning "I PWND FRANCE" shirts, we'll let the clear heads of diplomacy take over.

Yes my friends, an end to our bloodshed. In the future it will be up to GB the 1,546,765th and your neighborhood Halo player.

This concludes the Erectivist lecture series, please leave a donation at the door. I've got to pay back some advances I was given.

IF November comes vote Erectivist.

If I can't be God at least I'll handle the French.

Thank you.

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Comments:

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NightOfOld

Apr 24 @ 12:41PM  

Pudge ...Pudge...He's our man.
When his can't get up ?

Mine sure can
NightOfOld

Apr 24 @ 1:14PM  

Since mine is always up and puts me in a good mood

I'm giving you a kooty....er I mean kudo.
Dominus

Apr 24 @ 1:38PM  
As one of your suggested cabinet ministers, I'd like to point out that perhaps there might be an adjustment necessary to your foreign policy.

The Europeans have always hated us. They always will. As a whole they only hate the French more than us, and who can really blame them for that.

Well, sir, the EU can't even agree on policy amongst it's own so I don't think we should concern ourselves with having to conflict with them as well. The circumstances of their bickering often change who is friends with who, but there hasn't been a serious conflict between any of them for quite a few decades so I suggest we adopt a policy of “smile and nod” towards them and just declare the whole region “stable but silly.”

The world is a slave to the Almighty Dollar and that's not going to change no matter how many Chinese get a Mastercard.

This may actually be changing, sir. Largely due to corporate outsourcing. Our nation has moved away from being an industrial nation to one where we were a service nation. Now both factors are floundering as companies can seek out foreign interests that can use their overpopulated nations to make up for the needs of the industry and service markets. May I suggest we “switch it up” on them, sir, as we can't really force the corporations to comply with laws that would keep them from outsourcing. Focus our efforts on internal production and education. Because of our large land mass, we could eliminate our dependency on foreign resources by switching back to a mass production agrarian society. This would allow us (in a controlled population circumstance) to manufacture all of the biodiesel and ethanol we wanted, and still have food left over to trade with countries that have been overpopulated. Really raising the education level of our populace would mean that we could break out of the service industry market and start competing in the export of ideas well ahead of the curve.

It is time to modernize the military. Ground warfare is only good if you want to occupy, we should get over that. We don't really need to occupy to have effect.

Here, I agree completely. Even the OICW was invented so that a single individual could dominate a 5 km radius, but that is still based on occupation and as it was proved back in the Russian/Afghan wars, it just doesn't work anymore. Societies have become more fluid. Therefore, conflicts, as you suggested, need to be settled through show of strength but only as a last resort to diplomacy. Our military troop's focus should be shifted from aggression towards things like defense and building levees. Unless the deforestation continues in South America. Then I say we put our foot down. It ain't right they be stealin' our air like that, sir.
Pudge2you

Apr 24 @ 1:58PM  
First to catch y'all up... Dom has graciously offered to help to combine the NSA,CIA,FBI,ATF, Secret Service and Department of Homeland Security in to one body, The Department of Defense.

In that set-up I would be Commander-in-Cheif of the military and he would contol the rest as a unified police under the Secretary of Defense.

I have agreed to this idea. I may not be the brightest but I know sense when I see it, and the Erectivist Party is nothing if not inclusive.
Pudge2you

Apr 24 @ 2:08PM  
Now on to answer Dom... not gonna use the quote thingy as a matter of style...

On the smiling and nodding... i think we actually agree on this, you show how you don't give a fuck what they think in your way, I'll order the t-shirts...

On the subject of outsourcing... to me it is just a method of bringing more of the world to dependence on the dollar. More foreign workers working for American companies supports their reliance on our success. But I do think we can have it both ways. There is plenty of space left here to start your agrarian dream. (especially with the population control that will come with Plank #2) So while we increase the global dependance on American success we can then feed them and brainwash them at the same time.

On South America.... I'll order more shirts.
Dominus

Apr 24 @ 2:28PM  
On the subject of outsourcing... to me it is just a method of bringing more of the world to dependence on the dollar. More foreign workers working for American companies supports their reliance on our success.

You would be correct, except for one key problem. It will only continue to work that way until a company decides to move it's operations outside of the United States (such as Cheney's recent decision to move all of his corporate holdings to Dubai to avoid an audit scandal.)

If corporations that are U.S. based decide to move their operations for whatever reason (including elements we have no control over such as natural disasters or world markets) and those companies have built an outsourcing philosophy, that would cripple the economy. If we lost just 30% of our business that way, the resulting depression could take over a decade or more to overcome, and would most definitely prevent us from achieving other goals as we struggle to play catch-up. The overall result could be that in the next 10 to 15 years we will fall behind countries such as Japan, Britain and even Singapore in terms of "intellectual export", and we would definitely fall behind countries such as China in terms of means of production.

To make it worse, we would have to then adopt a stance of "dependent defense" against two specific groups; foreign national crime syndicates (note the books "Blood Brothers" and "World on Fire") but we would then be forced to defend our resource interests in foreign lands. This would continue to mire us in places like Iraq, Brazil, and Nigeria.

Unfortunately, while those multinational corporations make us lots of money, they don't bear us any loyalty and will only continue to exist within our borders as long as they perceive it gains them something. Shifting our industries to local and micromarkets allows the population to maintain vested interest in their own nation, thus preserving the American way of life instead of eroding it.
Pudge2you

Apr 24 @ 2:58PM  
Losing 30% of buisness this way would be crippling without the agrarian back-up you propose. The depression would come from the loss of jobs at home not the actual location of the multi-national. It's a cake and eat combination. Successful multi-national stocks for investment, along with provincial and practical production of staples as a back-up. If the multi-nationals leave and run into organized crime, we will offer them safe harbor here back home, and our prodigal sons will return. You see your idea combined with mine buys an important element... TIME. A new steady state may actually result instead of fear and a downward spiral. It's just like any good employee, loyalty is earned... when a good person leaves in pursuit of a "better offer" often they are confronted with a frying pan to fire reality. When you welcome that person back with open arms you have a very loyal very vocal cheerleader for the rest of their working days, not to mention a talented and more experienced individual.

It's in the combnation my friend there is no severability.

Ashinatrix

Apr 24 @ 3:08PM  
i was gonna ask you if you wanna fuck....unfortunately Im exhausted from all that reading.........
wtxman

Apr 27 @ 8:48AM  
You are learning well young grasshopper,confuse the masses with many words that don't mean anything, and then say later that you never said that shit.
Pudge2you

Apr 27 @ 8:53AM  
I have the very best teachers here sir!

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Erectivist Plank #3