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Thanks A Lot for the Advice

posted 4/18/2007 4:44:54 PM |
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  swyeter

For you to fully understand this blog you probably need to go read the following one first.

OH BOO HOO HOO MEN DONT ANSWER MY EMAILS
posted 4/16/2007 6:05:40 PM
Also, just so you know this blog's title, "Thanks A Lot for the Advice", is supposed to be sarcasm. The whole point of my comment was that many missed that point in the original blog and the below was my satirical comment to the above. I have had a few individuals who read my comment thought it had some merit for its own humor and suggested I post it as a separate blog so others could see and read it. Not sure about all that but here it is.

Shitz Looking you done gone and got me in all kinds of trouble with this blog. I read it and thought hell no wonder I’m not getting “wanna fuck” / “wanna cam” messages; I’m not emailing any women on AMD. So I sat down and made me a form message and sent it to every woman 18-65 years of age who was active within the last month and let me tell you that took a while to do. Then I sat back and waited for the mail to flood in. Now I am blocked by half the women on AMD and what few responses I did get included things like:
“HELL NO”
“Pervert”
“You’re old enough to be my daddy or granddaddy”, and
“Sicko”
But my favorite was, “You tell me where you live and I’m going to come over there and whip your ass!” Not sure if that last one was a threat or an offer so I am still debating on whether or not to send her my home address. Matter of fact I think that response came from you so would you mind providing me clarification on your intentions BEFORE I send it to you?

Then after mailing all the AMD women I started dialing random numbers and every time a woman answered I asked, “You wanna f**k?” I was cursed or hung up on by every woman except one but when she gave me her address I recognized it as my grandmother’s, now I’m having nightmares about her kissing me and trying to French.

By now I figured what the hell so I went to church on Sunday and got slapped 18 times and been asked not to come back because of my wicked ways. Though the minister’s wife did overhear me asking the women, “Wanna fuck?” and gave me a piece of paper with her phone # and address on it with some times to call. Problem is she looks like Janet Reno’s sister.

Then as a last resort I tried the bars. Same question, “Wanna fuck?” By now I was getting used to the slaps but now I was also getting drinks thrown in my face. That wouldn’t have been so bad either except this one woman was drinking Baileys and coffee (thank goodness the doctors tell me the injuries are not permanent).

Now the only thing left I could do was to write a blog whining and crying and throwing a fit about how mistreated I was. Naturally I blocked “auto post” so I could pick and screen the responses I posted. But after the first five responses I pulled it because one said, “Get a life” another “Tell someone who gives a shit” and three stated, “If you are looking for sympathy you can find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis”. Am I the only person on this site who is always correct and just how did all these other f**ked up losers get on here anyhow.

Now none of the woman on AMD will even acknowledge I exist, I have been excommunicated (that’s shunned in the south) from the church and banned from all the bars in the state. You have totally ruined my life and it is entirely your fault because of this damn blog you wrote so you owe me big time and I believe I at least deserve you giving me a mercy f**k. So whatta ya say Looking, “You wanna f**k.”

NOW JUST IN CASE ANYONE DOES NOT GET IT THE ABOVE IS SARACASM OR SATAIRE FOLKS!

<+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++>

Now, let me say in all sincerity, truth and honesty I have thoroughly enjoyed the short time I have been on AMD. I have met some wonderful people and if an old, overweight, gray haired, balding man can make friends with woman on here without posting a picture anyone can (I have provided a few ladies a private picture and they can attest that my description in my profile is accurate).

This may be an adult site but if you want respect on here or anywhere in life you have to first show a little courtesy and respect. You can’t be like they say back home, “Yall know them boys just ain’t got no raising”.

I don’t have to tell or suggest anything to any of the men who whine and cry here because the ladies do a much better job.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by swyeter:
The Man's Remote (Joke)
Bush Meets Moses
And They Ask Why I Like Retirement!
Gay Test
A Bear & A Beer
Soldier
Doctor, Doctor
A Baker's Dozen - Thoughts To Ponder
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road.
TRUE CONFESSIONS – “IT’S A MAN THING”
IT’S A MAN THING
On Age and Aging
Thanks A Lot for the Advice
And Women Think Men Are Horny!
I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Joke
Spell Checker - Joke
Wanna Fuck vs Wanna Get Fucked E-mails
Is Beauty A Curse


Comments:

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Ewe_Wish

Apr 18 @ 4:56PM  
UMMM Excuse Me by copying my writing that was copywrited and patented at the quick booth for copywrite at walmarts you have now violated the copywrite laws. I have spoken to my attorney, 3 county judges, my agent, and a guy that was passed out on the park bench until i woke his drunken ass up and they all feel the same. Now the attorney, judges and my agent all feel i should sue your ass and collect millions for this blatent theft of my work.(of course they are already figuring out thier share of the lawsuit) but Im not going to do that i think that in all fairness You should pay me by not sending me anymore of the wanna fuck emails and a bottle of maddog 20/20 guess whose idea of settlement that was?
swyeter

Apr 18 @ 5:19PM  
Nice try Looking but since I only used the title of your blog my barber tells me you do not have a case. You would have since I did not acknowledge you by name and give you credit but since AMD rules prohibits naming names I am not libel for any damages. Plus the only thing I have you could get would be a stick of gum, a used condom, half a cold pizza (make that a quarter now cause I just ate two slices) and my bar tab. Matter of fact my bartender tells me to tell you go ahead and sue that maybe he could at least take it out in trade with you.

I talked with the minister’s wife and discovered that she is in fact Janet Reno’s sister and for services rendered she got her sister to give me some advice on suing your ass because of the threat you made about you were going to kick my ass. But she did say it would be best to settle out of court and work a settlement where each could save a little face and win. SO here’s the offer, I only get to send you one “wanna fuck” message per week” and you can answer “yes, but not with you” (actually I stole that line from another Looking so I may just have opened myself up to another lawsuit), I have to pay for and bring the Maddog 20/20 (if I can put it on my tab at the bar) to your place and we each get to drink half and I only have to say PLEASE three times to turn you on and then I get to turn you off. Whatcha say Looking, “Deal or No Deal?” (Shitz, I probably just opened myself up to another lawsuit with that last comment too.)
Ewe_Wish

Apr 18 @ 5:54PM  
Which only goes to prove that your barber gives as bad legal advice as he does haircuts LOL

send you one “wanna fuck” message per week” and you can answer “yes, but not with you”
could i please answer yes but anyone who isnt you?

I'm not paying your bar tab i have the park bench holders to pay this week and as for me threatening to kick your ass honey have someone explain to you the difference of threats and promises. LOL

But now that you mentioned another law suit the park bench drunk says i have a real good case of sexual harrassment......or maybe he said you did,

swyeter

Apr 18 @ 6:26PM  
In my barber’s defense I only have half as much hair for him to work with as the other customers, but what’s your beautician’s excuse?

Since it ain’t gonna be me then a “yes but anyone who isn’t you” is an acceptable answer. Matter of fact I talked to your park drunk legal advisor and he wants to know when I am going to send you the next one, something about he wants to be standing at your front door when you receive it.

The bartender said he’d cancel the tab but only if he can bring along a case of Maddog and watch you drink it. Don’t know what pleasure he expects to get out of that but sounds like a good deal.

And honey I do know the difference between a promise and a threat, are you sure you do? A threat is a nonbinding verbal statement and a promise is a binding verbal statement. So if I don’t see you pulling in my driveway soon I am going to sue you for breach of contract for one ass kicking.

And you can forget any counter suit you might think you have for sexual harassment. I’d ask for a jury trail and after they took one look at me they’d laugh your ass out of court, “HIM SEXUAL”!

Oh yeah and by the way Janet said to also tell you


Sunshinegal35

Apr 18 @ 6:31PM  
I don't know which was more hilarious- the actual blog or the banter between you and looking in the comments section!?!
Thanks for the giggles! And here's a worthless kudo for your efforts!
Ewe_Wish

Apr 18 @ 6:38PM  
Just so you know the park bench drunk is starting to look good to me and he promises he will have a job before the year is up so i may be cancelling my acct here true love ya know
swyeter

Apr 18 @ 6:44PM  
UHHhhhh Looking, you may want to consider stop tipping the bottle with him.
casuallylooking

Apr 18 @ 7:26PM  
Oh My Gosh...I'm waiting for the next round... lmao
BigFlirt

Apr 18 @ 9:07PM  
Oh shit you two go get a room.....
HollyHummy

Apr 18 @ 9:22PM  
OMG....you two are toooo funny.....two thumbs-up...

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Thanks A Lot for the Advice