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IN DEFENCE of TROLLS

posted 4/16/2007 8:49:20 AM |
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  tetons

One of the wierd things about living in florida, (and NO, this won't be a wierd things in florida-blog; there isn't enough time on the atomic clock, nor space in the universe, for such an undertaking,) but one of them is that when you're living at sea level, with drainage ditches, instead of sidewalks, there really aren't that many bridges, to speak of, cuz there aren't many rivers distinguished from swamp. i mean it's either watery mud, muddy water, or interstate highways, bordered by sand dunes. Back in chicago, where i escaped from once, and plan to do so again, there is always some tributary of the mississippi running in or around your area. And when you have rivers and creeks that swell with the yearly melting of canada, they build bridges, some actually big enough to sleep under. Now anyone who's spent any time up north, knows that a couple of results, are inevitable. For one thing the cold makes your balls shrink to BB's. the barometric pressure, inside your skull, coupled with the constant squeezing shut of the eyes,so you don't have to view the snow, eventually comes to be too much for the gentler of us. A change is needed. Now if you're a commodity broker, trading cadillacs and wives and diamonds, you just buy yourself a cessna citation, and a piece of overdeveloped barrier island, like sanibel, and presto, you're bi-polar, able to escape the frozen tundra for a quick weekend in stupidity-as-an-art-form, fla. But the rest of the masses must remain up north, to drive the snow plow, and milk the cows, so there will b ice cream. Now these people need some escape, as well. And a lot of us will make our way to the aforementioned bridges, to lounge on the banks, and Watch the River Flow. Now under these bridges is where the keepers of the BOO reside. The little guys with the scraggly beards, and long hair. With peace signs on their fatigue jackets, and smiles on their faces. They're pleasnt enuff people, just layin' back, taking nature into their lungs, holding for awhile, and letting it out in a soft hiss. 'Cuz in chicago, everyone knows; if you want the really good shit, you gotta get it from the trolls. That's what they do, that's their purpose in life. Now yesterday was the first time in awhile that the yellow globe in the sky actually shone thru, so i went down to the bridge, to see my guy. He was there, all right, but he didn't smile when he saw me coming. We headed around the corner together, and found a flat rock to sit on while we twisted a few. And he says to me; "You guys on amd really piss me off. You're giving trolls a bad name. What'd i ever do to you guys, besides always show up at your parties and make you laugh? Friggin' don imus never made you laugh. jesse jackson and al sharpton? Some of you laugh at 'em, but it ain't their jokes, know what i'm sayin' ?!? " And then it hit me: Maybe it's not the trolls that make cyber space so ugly. '''''''''''''''''''cuz like the dude said yesterday, who needs a computer, when you got fresh air, and clean streams and the good stuff around, when you need it. Ain't no drama queens, under the bridge. No attention whores, either. 'Cuz who needs attention, when you got good contraband? Nope, just like everything else, on planet earth, it's the people fuck it up. We blame the trolls, and the rupublicans, and the heathens, and the christain right. We assasinate john lennon and make howard stern a cult hero. And whose fault is it? Not mine, musta' been that troll. But hey, you know what? WE ARE THE TROLLS !

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Comments:

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Sunshine79

Apr 16 @ 9:18AM  
Cuz who needs attention, when you got good contraband?

Pudge2you

Apr 16 @ 9:43AM  
Shhhhhhh!!! damn! don't tell 'em!!!
ponme

Apr 16 @ 11:27AM  
I am not *pops a handful of Troll food in mouth and starts crunchin* a Troll. I am a Phouka.. get it right..

You be right though.. we are all attention whores or we wouldn't bother with spouting our rhetoric to the masses.
cabl_guy

Apr 16 @ 12:18PM  
NightOfOld

Apr 16 @ 1:39PM  

Well my friend....from one troll to anther...have a worthless kudo.

Nice post.

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IN DEFENCE of TROLLS