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Random Thoughts and Scattered Ideas XI (a webdrama in four chapters)

posted 4/15/2007 1:31:05 AM |
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This bitch actually went out 2 the car, got a crowbar out of the trunk, went back inside and pried the yellow kitchen phone (U know the ones with the dial on the front and the cord that would stretch all the way 2 the corner if it wuzn’t all twisted up and shit?) from the wall in the dining area and took it with her as well. Then, on the way back out of town they stopped at three of the town’s four pay phones so she could fuck them up and make them completely unusable. Then her and the accomplice found a spot with an unobstructed view of the only working payphone in town and settled in 2 wait. Three hours later their patience paid off as they spotted Stackinghosen approaching the phone booth and digging N2 his pocket 4 change. They confronted him on the spot, the hooker demanding her money while the unknown male repeatedly slammed Stackinghosen’s head against the curb. Eventually Stackinghosen complied with the hooker’s demands and forked over $150 4 the unscheduled blowjob, as well as another thirty bucks 4 old boy that had brought her 2 put in his gas tank. Shaken, but otherwise unharmed, Stackinghosen returned 2 his house and reported 2 Magda what had just happened. It must have been this last bit of news that pushed her over the edge becuz after listening 2 what her husband had 2 say Magda stood and walked 2 the kitchen without uttering so much as a single syllable in her husband’s direction. She retrieved the .357 she kept in the pantry, and checking 2 make sure it wuz loaded she returned 2 where he wuz waiting 4 her and promptly blew his fucking head off. She considered finding his whore and killing her 2, but figured that that bitch wuz just doing her job and didn’t necessarily deserve 2 be killed 4 it, so she let it go. Then she got N2 the family car and drove off N2 the night, leaving not so much as a single trace behind (unless U wanna count her husband’s bullet-riddled corpse, but izn’t that really just splitting hairs?)

So I couldn’t help but notice that Blue Yes Park Lin (must be she’s Chinese or something...I don’t fucking know) has invited me 2 visit her in Alabama. Bitch, U must be out Ur goddamned mind! Like I’m trying 2 start an interracial relationship south of the Mason/Dixon Line. Don’t U know I’m from the ghetto? The only time I ever see a motherfucker in a sheet he iz either dead or being hauled away 2 the morgue, or very much alive and trying 2 be Casper the Friendly Ghost. I have never been around the KKK, and I ain’t trying 2 start now. U must got me fucked up with this bullshit. I don’t know about that Chinese pussy, anyway. My boy wuz dating this Chinese bitch and told me she never trims her bush...EVER! Just let the shit grow. This motherfucker tells me he tried 2 eat this bitch’s pussy and couldn’t find it cuz of all the hair. He couldn’t tell if he wuz eating pussy or trying 2 whisper 2 Erika Badu, it wuz so fucking bad. So, yeah...I’m sorry, Blueyesprkln[B], but I don’t think I’m going 2 be able 2 make it this time. Call me a fucking racist if U want 2, but I just don’t see us bridging the cultural differences right now. It’s really 2 bad Ur not a big ass white girl, though. I duz love me a big bitch, after all. And white girls wax their pussies 2, so the aforementioned problem iz never a problem, either. Yeah...I’d fuck me a big, white Alabama bitch in a tick’s fidget, that’s 4 damned sure! It’s really 2 bad, U know...about U being Chinese and all? Oh, shit – wait a minute – my wife reads these fucking blogs, duzn’t she? Oh boy, oh, yeah...ehhh...never mind...

iz probably gonna have something 2 say about that one...she generally duz. Yeah...I’m pretty much fucked. It’s the whole, “I don’t want U fucking other bitches” and the “No one but me iz allowed 2 suck Ur dick, U Dick!” where we keep running N2 trouble. I don’t’s like she expects me all of the sudden 2 be monogamous or some shit...its fucking crazy! Talk about shenanigans. Izn’t that hilarious? I mean...I know us men say shit all the time, but I figured by the time they hit 40, women have stopped believing anything a man tells them. Turns out I mighta been wrong about that one. And this bitch I’m married 2 iz fucking nuts, man. 5150 all the way...check this out - I wuz looking her straight in the eye and she said she wuz gonna fucking kill me if she catches me fucking around again and I fucking believed her, man. Made the hairs on my arm stand up and shit. Gave me the willies something fierce. Even made me pee the bed, I wuz so freaking disturbed by the way she said it. And I don’t even want 2 think about what this nutty fucking bitch would do 2 the poor bitch she caught me fucking around with, either. That would be ugly. She don’t give a fuck. She don’t give a fuck about that bitch, she don’t give a fuck about what I think, she don’t give a fuck about going 2 jail. Matter of fact, that’d be a fucking vacation 4 her. Lock me up, motherfuckers! I need the sleep, bitch! Fuck...I don’t know, man. She might just kill that bitch. Wouldn’t surprise me a goddamned bit. So, anyway...if U wanna fuck around sometime just hit me up...

Until I hear from U I guess I’ll just keep on

Keeping U posted


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Random Thoughts and Scattered Ideas XI (a webdrama in four chapters)