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Erectivist Plank #2

posted 4/13/2007 2:07:02 PM |
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Welcome all to the second of a multi-part series (although there ain't no way I'm turning this into a DS type marathon) designed to confuse and entertain you into large donations. Brought to you, of course by the fine folks at Cellar LLC, who invite you to drop in and stay awile, as they could always use the variety and help, if you will...

Erectivist Party Platform Plank #2 - Domestic Policy

Things are no doubt fairly screwed here in the good old Land of My Birth. It really can't be argued that a fair amount of that screwing is self-induced. As we seem to have lost our way a bit children, my domestic policy will be focused solely on getting our little choo-choo back on the track. As before there will be short term and long term programs initated by my Administration.

For starters the Department of the Interior will be shedding much of it's current duties and focusing on two primary objectives.

1. Make sure it's always leather.
2. Make sure it's always warm and wet.

That's all they will be concerned with. Of course, it will be up to the discression of the Secretary to choose which objective to apply to any given situation...

The second and perhaps farthest reaching program, addresses the most common source of domestic problems, and all the reasons we see lack of reason. It will be based on a single ideal. One which may sound harsh at first, but a properly sedated mind will easily come around to embrace.

"Stupid people shouldn't breed."

Notice now, that it does not say stupid people shouldn't fuck. The Erectivist Party stands firmly behind the concept of fucking stupid people. What this simple tennant implies is that time is nye for some simple contraceptive measures utilized judiciously to save ourselves from ourselves.

Immediatley after inauguration, A new presidential order will go into effect. All males and females of breeding age in this country will be contacted to take a simple quiz. The questions on the quiz will consist of 5 or 6 more or less common sense notions. Things like "What is the first thing you should do when you find yourself in a hole?" and "Slower traffic should stay on which side of the road?" If a person does not pass this test they will be taken away to be fitted with a long term, yet reversable form of birth control, until such time that they can be retested and earn a passing grade. This program will continue for one entire generation, but no longer.

This my friends will go a very long way toward a better world for the future. I'll let you use your imaginations on what it might be like. Oh and don't mind that scent just now, it's just a candle.

If you are offended by this program, you have my condolences. I would not admit it in public, if you know what I mean... people may stare, and point, and laugh at you... take my word for it.

This concludes my second presentation and I will yield the floor for comments.

As always I Stand Erect Before You... because if you can't be best at least you can be first!

IF November comes, It'll be better Erect.

Thank You.

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post a comment!


Apr 13 @ 2:09PM  
Hope you get erected...uh...elected.

Apr 13 @ 3:09PM  
New slogan:select the erect if you are hen pecked. answer to first question: quit digging you stupid MF. A kudo for you.bro,er mr. president soon to be elected.

Apr 13 @ 3:12PM  
Exactly WTX!! You may now procreate to your hearts content. See how easy it is y'all?

Apr 13 @ 3:32PM  
As soon as I realized I was stupid ...I had a moment of clarity..does that count?

Apr 13 @ 7:48PM  
People, People (claps hands to get attention ) please fall to the preferred position ,consider it training for November .... All Hail the President

Apr 13 @ 9:37PM  
Thank you Maggie! Now please open just a little wider if you will...

Apr 13 @ 9:39PM  

Pudge you are the man. People lets all get it up for pudge our new President.
Get them high as a salute to him and his &%*(*)%%_

Thank you one and all.

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Erectivist Plank #2