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UK for Dummies?

posted 4/13/2007 10:40:30 AM |
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Ok, so I have this roommate, who, at best, is a few fries short of a happy meal.

About a month ago, I sat him down to explain to him that once our lease here was up, I would be moving to the UK to be with Argit. He gave me a very quizzical look and then asked me "Why do you want to move to England when you don't speak the language?"

Last night I asked him if I had gotten any mail (since he is the one to check it daily) as I have done for the last several days. I am waiting for a package to arrive from England. He asked me what was in the package, which I told him, and he said, that perhaps I should get the tracking documents from Argit, and take them to the post office to see if they could track the package for me, as according to the British mail system, it arrived in the US postal system on April 3rd, yet it has not arrived here at my home yet. Then he said, and I quote directly "I am sure there is someone at the post office who will be able to translate the British documents for you"

Real life, is, sometimes, in fact, stranger than fiction. I wasn't aware that the British spoke another language, but Argit has assured me he will get me a shirt once I arrive that explains "Be gentle with me, I don't speak the language!" He's soooooo good to me!

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Apr 13 @ 10:55AM  
Just know your bonnets from your boots and you'll survive the rest...

I'd like to sell your roomate something... hook a brother up would ya?

Apr 13 @ 10:59AM  
ya gotta love the stupid ones too !!! I mean after all gf you DO lub me !

Apr 13 @ 11:01AM  
Oh that was priceless!

Apr 13 @ 11:23AM  
OMG how funny!!!!!!!

Apr 13 @ 11:24AM  

Apr 13 @ 11:27AM  
Was talking to Lisa on the Isle of Wight the other day.. she is going to school to be a teaching assistant for special needs kids. The new thing with the British school system is to teach... I shit you not... Britishness to the kids. WTF mate? Teaching British kids how to be British? That.. well hell that's almost as bad as making english the second language in inner city schools.

Apr 13 @ 11:32AM  

Your roommate is one of those folks that make me regret that breathing is an autonomic reflex.

Remember that a rutabagga is called a turnip over there... the boot is the trunk, the bonnet is the hood...

And for God's sake would ya teach someone over there that there is another way to COOK other than boiling the flavor out of everything?

Apr 13 @ 11:49AM  
As an Englishman I feel it my duty to explain a couple of things.
Teaching British kids how to be British? That.. well hell that's almost as bad as making english the second language in inner city schools.
Yep it is true as a large majority of school children are Indians whose parents do not speak any English as all. In fact my aunt, who is so un PC as to call all Indians Paki's was horrified to learn that her grand daughter would have to learn to speak Urdu as her classmates were mostly Indian and could not speak very good English.
And for God's sake would ya teach someone over there that there is another way to COOK other than boiling the flavor out of everything?
Some of the world's best chefs are English. I actually boil my vegetables so they still have a good deal of crunchiness in them, that way you don't lose any of the flavour or goodness in them. When Crissy arrives, however, she has told me that she will do all of the cooking but I have to wash up the dishes (I should be used to that as I used to do both and still do when I can be arsed to cook).

Apr 13 @ 12:29PM  
Gotta love the stupid people. They make the rest of us laugh.

I need one of those shirts to wear here

Apr 13 @ 12:53PM  
LMAO, just further proof that Americans aren't as highly educated as we'd like people to assume. Now, are British people smarter than us? Who's to say... but I can tell you this, everything that comes out of their mouths sounds like Shakespeare.

Apr 13 @ 1:10PM  
My friend Argit, don't BS us on the cooking.I'm walking down the cookbook isle at Barnes&Noble and I don't see a MF thing about British or English cooking! Not a damn thing about these great British or English chefs either. I can tell you that there are as many Indian places to eat in London as there are Starbucks in the entire US. Now if you want to brag about something,tell everybody about the "kick ass",beers,ales, and stouts that you have over there. In my opinion the best in the mf world. Oh and talk about the RAF,I worked with some of these blokes and they are first class all the way; thats how I found out about all the great beers,ales, and stouts.

Apr 13 @ 2:10PM  

Does that mean you will need a translator to talk to Argit ?


Apr 13 @ 3:37PM  
Proof, once again, that our educational system is really much for being a world power. It'd be funny if there weren't so many like him around. *sigh*

Apr 13 @ 3:55PM  
When I visited England last July I had a very interesting "language difference" experience.
One morning I was leaving my hotel room to head out for sightseeing. When I stepped out into the corrider, I noticed a couple of men working in the room right across the hall. They were laying new carpet.
I double-checked my room door to make sure it was locked, then turned to walk to the lobby. As I turned, one of the gents laying carpet called out to me. He said,
"Hey, mother!?!" I was flabbergasted! I couldn't imagine what I'd done to this guy to make him MF me! Turns out that "mother" in Queen's English is the equivalent of US English's "ma'am" LMAO!!!!!!!
Once you get to the UK, PK, please send us some anecdotes on language differences! That will be a hoot!

Apr 13 @ 5:27PM  
Princess is he safe to be out alone? You may need to find him a new roommate just for safety factors if nothing else. LOL

Apr 13 @ 9:32PM  
That's pretty amazing Unless maybe his sense of humor is incredibly understated or off-the-wall. Some portion of Brits speak Welsh though ... the written words look unpronounceable.

Apr 14 @ 7:25AM  
Up here in Canada we speak english ...I think

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UK for Dummies?