A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixing (ready) to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump. Think of your dear mother and father."
He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead. I'm gonna to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."
He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well then, think of Robert E. Lee."
He replied, "Who's Robert E. Lee?"
She replied, "Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee."
1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
3) My Love for you is like diarrhea .. I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.
5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.
7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."
9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.
10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
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