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U Gotta Be Shitting Me...Right?

posted 4/11/2007 12:32:30 AM |
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  DickSlippery

Being offline really fucking sucks. In between when I wrote this blog (daze ago) and now it would seem many of the characters I mention herein have since cancelled their accounts. Shows U how up 2 date my intel iz. But hey, at least I never claimed anyone had WMDs...


So...I get this message from Looking4ever saying since I wuz expecting all these pictures from Jezzarae and belle1010, then I wouldn’t be needing any of the pictures she had just taken of her tits. Did U fall down and bump Ur head, or what? I never heard such craziness come out of another human being that wuzn’t some cat who 4got 2 take his meds or some shit. Bitch, U must be crazy. U better send me those pictures, goddamnit. Don’t U make me come back there and take some of my own!!!

I wouldn’t mind taking a little vacation this summer. Just load up an RV and head out across the country, stopping 2 visit all my friends along the way...maybe even pick up a few tailgaters along the way! The very first thing I would do iz stop off in Hopkins, Minnesota, and share a margarita with Luvrgrl (I figure if a bottle of tequila won’t get her top off nothing will), then I would have 2 take a run on up 2 Michigan and drop in on my girl LadieDarkStarr. After another bottle of tequila and a very erotic photo shoot, I’d pack up and head off 2 meet with PrincessKissy. That might take a few daze, I gotta tell U.

After that I would head out 2 meet my girls belle1010, Jezzarae, ponme and SexyBBW. Those bitches hang out 2gether anyways. They could get 2gether 2 party with their boy, can’t they? Of course they can, and the product of that meeting might just be another photo shoot and a few more empty bottles of tequila, but what can U do?

After that party I would head out Indiana way and drop in on my girl Looking4ever. I know she will be looking good as ever and that may take a day or two itself, I can’t say 4 sure. We’ll just have 2 play it by ear, y’know? Once I leave Indiana I’m gonna head on across the river N2 Kentucky so I can visit with Blueyesparkln. That bitch looks like she knows how 2 have a good time!

After that I am going 2 head on N2 New England and stop off in Massachusetts 2 visit with my two favorite girls back there...lillin and dumblonde. I’m pretty sure they live really close 2 one another! Maybe I can talk them N2 a threesome! Then it’s off 2 West Virginia so I can drop in on tlc0677. How the fuck am I supposed 2 travel all the way back east and not come see this sexy fucking bitch, I ask U?

Of course, that points me in the direction of Florida, and we all know what that means. I’m gonna have 2 stop and visit the Magic Kingdom. No...Not Disneyworld. I’m talking about stopping 2 see Sunshine79. That in of itself would take at least a week, and the last three daze would just be me trying 2 get away from that crazy fucking bitch. But again...I can count on some pretty good fucking pictures.

Leaving Florida I would head back west and N2 Alabama. That would require me 2 drop in and see Evening Storm. Anyone who can write the way she duz iz worth a meeting if I could swing it. From there it would be back on the road and on 2 Arkansas, where I would pick up str8nger4u2 and head on N2 Branson 4 a boot scooting good time!

Leaving Arkansas behind I would head N2 Texas. I’d make it most of the way across the state B4 something would inexplicably draw me 2wards Midland. Then I would hook up with wtxman’s crazy ass and end up in the fucking cellar. Depending upon just how many whores he knows I could be there 4 awhile.

Eventually, however, I would escape and continue my way west. Eventually I would pull N2 Las Vegas, and as soon as I hit town I would give Geena a call and see what that crazy bitch wuz up 2. I’m pretty sure I could get out of there without marrying the bitch, but who knows...I mean, if Elvis iz available, anything iz possible!

Then I would finally pull out of Sin City and head back N2 California. First I would head 2wards LA so I could drop in on GoGirl and see how sexy she really iz. I know she iz...she’s just been keeping a low profile. U can hide, girl, but only 4 a little while! Eventually, I will flush Ur sexy ass out!

Then it’s time 2 head back 2wards Sacramento. Since I have 2 choices, I would have 2 come home by way of 99 so I could stop off in Manteca and see MEMEME69752. Ain’t no fucking way I am driving all that way and not stopping 2 party with this bitch! After a night of champagne, truffles and titties I would climb back N2 the RV and drive the hour and a half back 2 Sacramento. Once I got there I would park and climb N2 bed 4 a week 2 recuperate. That’s when I would find out that Sunshine79 had stowed away onboard and wuz now living with me. Not only that, but when I got drunk with Geena in Vegas, she got me up and N2 the chapel and married my drunk ass! How the fuck am I supposed 2 explain that shit 2 my wife?

And that iz how I could manage 2 drive all the way across the country and back and see nothing but titties and ass. If it wuz half as much fun 2 do as it wuz 2 imagine...OMG. I better just let that go. No good can come from it.

Keeping U posted

DS

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Comments:

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Sunshine79

Apr 11 @ 12:36AM  
LUCKY # 13
geena

Apr 11 @ 12:52AM  
you rock . Be sure to come before 12:00 midnight, drive through chapels are only untill that time and dude!! Just tell your wife divorce(no fault) is easier in this state.
Blueyesprkln

Apr 11 @ 12:52AM  
DS if you come to Kentucky to see me, darlin you're a couple of states off. I'm in Alabama. AND you spelled my name wrong. lol Don't worry about it though, most people do. Copy and paste. lol
33john

Apr 11 @ 1:03AM  
Best be learn'n to read a map fer starts off dar
badkarma989

Apr 11 @ 1:22AM  
That's one hell of a road trip. How you gonna make that RV float to the UK and back agian. after all that road trippin, you might not be able to function!
Looking4ever

Apr 11 @ 2:20AM  
Oh, you should come take the pictures! And, I am only about 4 hours from Sxze or PrincessKissy & LDS...maybe I'll join you there and take the pictures for you! But I think you should bring DixBitch with you...we all want to meet her too! Think how much more fun it will be!

wtxman

Apr 11 @ 2:32AM  
DS, I can save you weeks of travel time,fuel, and expenses. As you know or might not know since you seem to be out of the loop somewhat,I had Donald Trump design your penthouse suite at the new Cellar,and while you were fantasizing about your "bitches" I have moved most of them into your 12 room,6 bath, suite; which is of course well stock with many of your favorite beverages, pills,and killer weed. I even designed and fully equipped, a state of the art, studio, so you could make your own dvds.Last but not least,thanks to our hard working friend borty,we have several lobotomized trolls tha will be at your command.And of course since you are anoriginal founding member of the Cellar,you answer to no one and have full authority to do any fucking thing you please. Hope to see you soon,and remember to contact pudge for the secret directions.Oh I forget,a MF useless kudo for you.
Looking4ever

Apr 11 @ 3:01AM  
while you were fantasizing about your "bitches" I have moved most of them into your 12 room,6 bath, suite

And just which 'bitches' might those be, WTX?
Sunshine79

Apr 11 @ 4:55AM  
I do seem to pop up in the most unusual places!!
ShadowsAngel

Apr 11 @ 8:49AM  


Glad you aren't venturing into God's Country. I would have to take ya to where there aren't any roads and get ya so thoroughly lost that even GPS couldn't find you.
evening_storm

Apr 11 @ 8:50AM  
Hey Blue...he got you and me confused....I am in Kentucky....Hello DS...long time no "type" to.....

E S Rain
tlc0766

Apr 11 @ 9:01AM  
Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wtxman

Apr 11 @ 9:07AM  
Hey Looking, DS has had the same list for quite awhile,so just read his blog and take notes.
lakota117

Apr 11 @ 11:10AM  
i am sending you a case of viagra and a 5gallon jar of sore dick save cause you gonna ned it before that trip is over thoose ladies are gonna hurt you
ponme

Apr 11 @ 11:23AM  
But darlin.. I would either have to be your first stop out of Sac or your last stop on the way home baybee... I'm only 20 mins from the cali border...
WykedMommy165

Apr 11 @ 12:08PM  
Well, iff'n you're gonna go see Ponme, you'd better stop in Nevada and see this happy couple! LOL

Great blog as always, and stop staying away for so long, I gotta have SOMETHING to print out and wipe my ass with!! (OMG, I was KIDDING, geezzz).
sundance64

Apr 11 @ 12:09PM  
wtf dude!!! you can stop in West BFginia...and then head down to FLA...but ya can't even stop into eastbend North Springerlina to say 'hi' to me and Canu? Fine for you! I see how you are!

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U Gotta Be Shitting Me...Right?